the day after

The morning after the party is meant to be all groggy - but it's not. I feel fine. Tired, but fine!

I had such an awesome party last night - did my first Vodka shot, got the most drunk I have ever been (but it obviously wasn't very drunk in the scheme of things because I can remember everything (including who gave me which present!) and don't feel that bad this morning). And I have some funny photos! I got some excellent pressies, too! My fav's (or most interesting/exciting) were:

• Necklace, bracelet, and bag from Malaysia, from James
• Two bottle of Vodka and a bottle of Midori, each from a different person (Hannah, Jasmine, Meaghan and Megan)
• An amazing abstract painting and a beautiful plate from Abby and Kate
• The sweetest smelling soaps from Jo, and
• earrings that I really wanted from Jess

All in all it was an awesome evening!! Good music, good friends and lots of laughs!

But now I have homework to do - argh... I really just want to revel in my lovely party memories but I have an essay to do for tomorrow and one for Wednesday.. Yuk!

birthday wishes for myself

Today I am eighteen - yes, 18!! I am so incredibly excited - I love birthdays! I have gots heaps of presents so far from my family, including a DVD burner, subscriptions to my favourite magazines, some lenses for my cameras, clothes, a new alarm clock with CD player, wool, a badge that says "Iraq is Arabic for Vietnam", some chocolate, three pairs of earrings, Outfoxed on DVD, a book called Jennifer Government, a belt, and a 2006 diary (which is a really pretty green!). I told you I got heaps of stuff!

This morning when Sar and I were in the car on the way to school I told her I can now buy her alcohol and she responded with: "Well, lets go to the bottle shop on the way to school!" I was highly amused and told her so, to which she said: "Just because you go to the bottle shop doesn't mean you are going to drink alcohol" - She is a funny one!

(I have just noticed that I am using exclamation marks a lot more often than I normally do - does this demonstrate my enthusiasm about birthdays?)

Hmmm, 18... I can pretty much do everything now - legally drink, legally buy alcohol, legally gamble, legally buy cigarettes.. But 18 also signals the end of high school - in eight days.. just 8... That freaks me out just a little, or maybe a lot. University next year - into the real world. How very scary. The one thing I keep reminding myself, which may seem completely stupid and obvious to everyone else but it helps to remind myself, is that there are lots and lots and lots and lots of people who have grown old and are loving it - yes, I told you it was stupid. I just tell myself that if they can do, I can! And it seems to work. Now that I write it is seems really stupid, but it's the truth - it really does help!

Tonight I don't think I will do anything much, maybe just go home and think about the fact that I could be at the pub being an "adult". But tomorrow night is my party. Just friends and family coming over to my place to have a drink and listen to music and generally have fun! Lots of celebrating shall be enjoyed that night! I think about 28 people are coming, approximately. Should be heaps of fun!

I was just picked on by my old maths teacher for "playing on the computer" - silly man! I'm eighteen, today is for celebrating and NOT doing homework!! Except that I have IPM (and my teacher's birthday is today also) and English - so I think I will actually have to do some homework in those classes, not that I particularly want to..

Ooh, Moondance (the Van Morrison version) just came on my iPod - I love this song! Actually I love this whole CD - the Moondance CD. I had Glad Tidings in my head all Wednesday and Thursday - that is also a great song by Van Morrison! Hmm...

I think I will go off surfing the web - just generally doing not much.. Sounds good!

remember me?

It has been forever since I posted - and I have no real excuse for it being so. Sure I've been busy, but I really should have found a few minutes to write an entry.. Well, here is my catch-up entry, and I think it will end up being quite lengthy.

Last time I blogged was about a month ago, so I have been on school holidays, and finished my last high school SAC - ever! The holidays were lovely. The first weekend was my step-dad's 50th birthday and party where we opened a lovely 20 year old bottle of Hermitage Grange - I'm not a wine lover, but this was really tasty!

Monday-Thursday of the first week I went to Apollo Bay for a little holiday with Megs. It was intended to be a 'study holiday', but I think we ended up watching more DVDs than studying! We watched 11 of the thirteen episode of 'Lano and Woodley'. They are hilariously funny!! They are an aussie comedy duo that did stand-up comedy for a while, then made a tv show, and I don't know where they are now.. We also walked on the beach two of the days which was great. It was quite chilly, but it was nice to walk in the cold water and along the sand - very refreshing after studying for the morning.

After I got back on Thursday I started working on my folio which I took to the short course I did at RMIT for the second week of the holidays - Photography Folio Preparation Course. It was excellent! I learnt heaps about the photography industry, my camera and darkroom work. The camera thing I learnt was that my camera is borken. Well, more specifically it is my 50mm lens. The aperture is stuck on f1.8 and will not stop down! It meant that pretty much all my photos are over exposed.. I also got to use the RMIT TAFE darkrooms which are a hell of a lot better than my high school's version! At school we don't use any type of filters in the cameras or on the enlarger - but I learnt about contrast filters at RMIT. And I got to play with some film I hadn't ever used - I used transperency film, an Ilford film that has an ISO of 125, and I got a chromogenic film that is made by Kodak. I haven't used the Kodak film yet, I'm waiting for a good situation where I can create some good black and white photos. That was another I learnt at RMIT - how lacking in black and white experience I really am. I have to get lots more done, and add lots of black and whites to my folio.

The last weekend was spent at Jess's house chatting, shopping and discovering a lovely new way to drink vodka - with orange juice! We were up until about 1 or 2am both Friday night and Saturday chatting and watching DVDs. And I finally saw The Triplets of Belleville which was awesome! I love the song that goes with it! Hannah, Jess and I were completely riveted to the screen while we were watching it - we were competely drawn into the animation and the soundtrack, and the sweet little story! It was awesome!

Then Sunday I went out for lunch with my Dad and my sister because it is Sarah and my birthday's this week. Sar was 16 on Tuesday and I will be 18 tomorrow - I am highly excited!!

That marked the end of the holidays - which I didn't mind because I got an awesome birthday present!! When school went back I had to get used to get up at 6:30am again. It hasn't been too bad though. School is still the same (but will only be so for another two weeks). I had a SAC on Wednesday, but other than that school has just been revision.

On Tuesday night, however, we celebrated Sar's birthday in style! A group of eight of us (mum, John, Sar, me, and four friends of John's) went to a taping of the SBS television show RockWiz. It was really cool. I got to watch a television show being taped, and edited right there and then! I was excited. And Sar was excited because as a birthday treat, the guys at RockWiz allowed Sar to rock up early and hang out with the sound technician (which is her chosen career path) and see what he sets up and does for the show. I think he only controlled the front of house stuff, for the audience, but Sarah still enjoyed it!

And that was the last few weeks, in a nutshell! As well as all that fun stuff I have been sorting out all my uni applications and choosing photos for my folio which has been fairly exciting, not to mention nerve-racking! I have only had to send in two of the three applications so far, but I sent both in just in time to make it - I really am pushing it.. I should be more organised, but oh well - they are in! Hopefully I get interviews for them all - fingers crossed...

we're off to see the wizard...

"The wonderful Wizard of Oz". It has been in my head since my friends and I decided we were dressing up as characters from the movie for "Muck Up Day". "Muck Up Day", or as the principal wants as to call it: "Celebration Day", is the final school day for year 12s. We dress up, watch a slideshow of lots of photos, do a concert for the rest of the school and go home early; it is our celebration together for finishing high school. Megan and Meaghan came up with the idea while looking in a costume shop. I am the Wicked Witch, Megan is Scarecrow, Meaghan is Dorothy, Jess is the Lion, and Hannah is Tinman. My mum is making all our costumes, and we are terribly excited, even though the actual day doesn't happen until the 20th of October. Still, it is our final day of high school and the high school/primary school process which has lasted for 13 years. That bit of our life will basically be over as of 20 October 2005. Granted, we have exams after that, but no more high school classes - ever. It is terribly scary!! Each time I calculate how many days of school are left (yes, I know I have written something along these lines in a previous blog), which currently stands at 12 days, I get completely petrified. COmpletely! After this is finished I have to be an adult. I will be 18 and have to face the real world, not the fun little world of high school, where every day is pretty much the same, and pretty much full from 9am to 3:15pm. My last exam is on the 16th of November, and I graduate on the 28th (I think) of November. Then it will be done. Then it will be over. Yes, I am a drama queen when it comes to this, but after 13 years, I have become slightly attached to schooling the way I know it. I have only ever attended two schools: my primary school and my secondary school. From prep to six at primary school, and seven to 12 at high school. That is all.. I should probably come to terms with it - hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousand, millions of people have finished high school and gone onto other things - uni, work, etc... I want to go to uni. I really really want to get into one of the photography courses I have applied for. I doubt I will get into the Fine Art course, but the other three I might have a chance in. And if they fail, I think I am happy staying at home and going to the Uni which is 20mins by bus from my house - that is the Uni that I know, I have been there a number of times with school and my step-dad. I know that Uni, but I don't know the Uni in Melbourne, another reason I am freking out... But, I think I will be alright. In fact, I am determined to be alright, even successful, at Uni - whichever one I go to!

Ooh, my Media teacher today asked me, and two other students in my class, if we would like to be nominated, and enter, Top Arts, which is for the best students in Arts subjects from Victoria. I am excited about that. It pretty much means that we got an A or an A+ for our Media assignment - that was my magazine. I was proud of it, and now I am even more proud of it - that is, if it got me an A!! Very cool.

I should really get to doing some homework. I have my last English SAC on Friday, so I should study...

chocolate and pre-selection kits...

I went to see the new Willy Wonka movie, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, last night. I really enjoyed it. However, through the whole movie I was expecting the characters to do things that were in the 1971 Gene Wilder version - but they didn't do them. Having the old movie in my head kinda spoiled last night because I was constantly waiting for things that weren't going to happen. But I did really enjoy it. It was a fundraiser for my year's (year 12) graduation at the end of the year. We got $3 per ticket, and I reckon we had about 200 people there - so I don't think it was a bad effort. Johnny Depp is great as Willy Wonka - he is sufficiently strange. And they added this great 'message' about how family is really important. Though I'm not sure I liked that bit - a bit to messy for this chcolate genius to be completely out of whack because his dentist father wouldn't allow him to eat chocolate when he was a boy. Oh well, I still enjoyed it!

I have been doing all these (four) pre-selection kits for the courses I applied for, for next year. Uni is seeming to be closer and closer, and the fact that I turn 18 in 31 days has just made the idea that I am growing up and moving on all the more prevalent. It is kind of scary, and has almost thrown me, that I will be 18 very shortly, and then I will leave high school (where I have been for the past six years), and I will move into the big wide world, and become independant. While I wouldn't start Uni until February of next year, just the graduating from high school is pushing me in the direction of 'adult-ness'. It's bloody scary! Then in a year and 31 days I will be 19 - and that sounds so different to 18, even though it is only a year difference. Don't you think 19 sounds really different to 18? I suppose everyone waits for 18, so school is often full of 18, or nearly 18, year olds. But after high school, you turn 19, then 20, and on and on and on... It just keeps going - right into the future. Ok, so now I sound insane, that I haven't really come to terms with the fact the I will get older and live my life, but until this year I hadn't really thought about it. I had always just seen finishing high school as a big milestone, and then Uni as something that is really far off - but now it is next year... Yes, I am freaking out... I think I need to go and ponder this idea of life, and develop some photos - which is what I am off to do now - yay!

Also, just a little add on, I wish Megan lots of fun teeth stuff - she is getting her brases off this morning!

interesting things...

I wish I had interesting things to write about, or an interesting way to right about things. So many blogs I read are written with such style - interesting language, thought-provoking comments, inspirational meanderings. My blog is just a jumble of a 17 year olds life.. oh so uninteresting..

I am slightly down today - is it obvious? And if I don't stop blogging now, I feel I will get even more down - toodles...

as promised...

Here are two examples of the pictures I took on Saturday night at Sweethearts Party '05:

Jessie singing

The bass player for Li'l Fi

I like them...

busy busy bee...

I have been very busy of late, and have had nothing really to write. But this morning I feel I should blog about something.

Some count downs:

• 86 days until my last exam
• 46 days until I turn 18
• 29 school days left

I am kinda freaked out by that last one - less than a month of school days until high school is finished...

I had a good weekend - indeed, a very good weekend! It was a friends 18th on Friday night - where, though parents were serving the alcohol, a fair bit was consumed (my new favourite - Midori and Lemonade!). The funniest bit though - when Jess opened a present and jumped back in, maybe, horror. The present: a garter belt! So very humorous!! Then, after presents, Hannah decided to decorate me as a present. I had wrapping paper and bows stuck on my head and clothes. We decorated Hannah as well, then went out to meet a friends dad in our finery - he was pleasantly amused! I think we got to bed at something like 2am, after, of course, the fortune telling with a deck of cards!

On Sunday night, the Sweethearts had their annual 'Party '05'. More drinks, some dancing and lots of photograph taking by me! I borrowed my aunties very cool camera (Canon 300D Digital SLR) and took 123 photos. Another late night. I took some cool pics, so I will put one or two up to show everyone.

In uni news - I have my pre-selection kit for BA Photography, but I still have to sort out the pre-selection kits for the other courses. I am so excited about it all. I have to get 15 5"x7" photos for the pre-selection kit, and write a bit about myself - should be interesting! I have to decide on the shots. I plan to include some flowers, some architecture, some live gig shots and some posed shots. Now to choose just 15! The BA kit has to be in by the 21st of October, and I'm not sure about the other kits - I should get to work..

I have finally sorted out my 8 preferences for VTAC Applications:

1. BA Photography
2. Scientific and Industrial Photography
3. Fine Arts Photography
4. Applied Photography
5. Bachelor of Arts
6. Bachelor of Arts (Media and Communications)
7. Bachelor of Psychology (strange choice, I know)
8. Bachelor of Arts (International Studies)

Should be interesting, and I have a preference session today so I will learn all about it.

Right now I think I better be off. I have a Media SAC this afternoon that I should really have thought about more thoroughly (it is about social values and Leave it to Beaver), and I have International Studies now. Joy...

RMIT yesterday...

I went to RMIT Open Day yesterday. I was really excited on my way there, but I left feeling strange. I have come up with a few reasons:

1. I feel nervous about leaving school
2. I feel inadequate with my own photos for my folio
3. I am over excited about everything - so am going insane..
4. I have too many choices, well two, but you know..
5. I am rethinking Photography as a path because I can't think of reasons why I want to do it except "I like doing it"

Maybe I am just over-thinking it; worried about nothing.. But it did help that I got to chat to James and Abby last night - they cheered me up!

Now I am off to study periods, to not do study... Maybe I will play some games, or ponder some more and add more to this entry.. who knows...

short posts...

I really am sick of short posts, but I can't think of much more to write, and lately I haven't had much time to write at all.

I finished my Media assignment last night - all finished. I just need to print it at school today and then get it printed tomorrow by a professional - well, OfficeWorks to be exact. But I think they can do I better job at the printing than my inkjet at home, or even the laser printer at mum's work that has nearly run out of ink. The magazine is 12 layouts. That is six layouts per issue, with two issues. Each issue has 12 pages, but in my head (and officially) that equates to six layouts. Hopefully that is ok.. I hope...

I am having a very big argument with my computer at the moment. Strange things keep happening with my iTunes and Adobe Photoshop programs. Well, maybe the iTunes issue is more an issue with my iPod. Files on my iPod keep 'corrupting' on me - they just won't work! I loaded stuff the other day, and now they have disappeared. It worked on my computer, but not on my iPod - I have no idea what is going on! And with Photoshop, when I exit the program it says there are problems and it has to quit - but it has already quit. And some files won't save as PDFs - argh!!

That is as long as this post is going to be - I have to go and do some work, and look after Megan. She doesn't seem very with it - so tired!!

media media media...

My magazine is nearly finished. One more article and a spell check/proofread and it's done. I am printing it on the weekend and then I might put some thumbnails of it up here or on my site. Joy!!

And it is RMIT Open Day on Sunday - I am very excited!!

jemmyB: a new look...

A kind of new look for my photography site jemmyB. Some new fonts, change of text, a few new colours. I think it will last for ages 'cause I like it. Though I'm not sure about the font yet.. Have to ponder..

And more pondering is to be done because, again, I have nothing to put here - so off I will go a-ponderin'.

new look...

Thought I would just post a little comment about my new look! I have been working on it for 3 and a half hours, instead of doing homework. I think it looks pretty good. A bit more me - an a bit more like my site. Groovy!!

nothing to say...

I really don't have anything to say. I don't even know why I am posting if I have nothing to say. I could tell you that I have just updated jemmyB with three new images. One of my sister, one of four coloured glasses, and one taken driving in a car with a slow shutter speed. I like the glasses the most - the colour worked really well. Or at least I think so.

Or I could tell you that I am trying to change this page to look "cooler". I have been fiddling with the code and am going to try and design my own colour scheme and images on the weekend. If I can work it out that is. I might be sitting online for a while whilst I try and figure that out..

Or I could even tell you that it is a casual dress day today because it is Jeans for Genes Day. And that I am wearing a scarf that I made from Italian wool and a t-shirt I bought at an op-shop. But that could be almost over-sharing.. Oh well..

winteryness and blogging...

It is the start of August. The beginning of the end of Winter. So many times I have said that I hate summer, but there are some days... You know those warm days that are just cheerful? They make you happy sitting in your summer clothes. Those days are the ones I can't wait for. I hate the days when all you want to do is sit in the freezer, they are horrid. You feel sticky and hot - not nice. Those days are the ones when I wish for winter, when you can snuggle up. I suppose I like all the seasons in their own way. Summer for the happy semi-calm that can come over people; the lazy summer feeling. Autumn for the leaves - crunch crunch! Winter for the lovely snuggly nights, when you can sit in bed or on the couch under a warm blanket and just make yourself like a bug in a rug. Spring for the flowers... and my birthday. They are all good in their own way. All enjoyable for at least part of the three months. And soon we will be in Spring. Only 31 days. Another cycle will have been complete. Another year. The next winter that comes around for me will be when I am at university (hopefully...). After August I will never have a winter as a high school student. I sound so melancholy. But I'm not. I am so excited about it all now. It has taken me a while to get here. I have had to find a focus for next year. When all my friends were leaving at the end of last year I felt slightly lost. I didn't have direction. I knew another year of high school was coming, but then what. I had no clue. I had no ideas. I felt lost so often. Now I have direction. Now I know what I want to do, what I would love to do. And I am excited - finally! I have something I feel passionate about. Finally. October 20th. The last day of year twelve - and finally I am working towards it, not trying to stay away from it.

Another of my friends has joined the blogging world. Megs at who burnt the biscuits? She has posted three times already. Actually, she is such a procrastinator I'm sure she will blog often! Welcome to Megs, from me!!

I think I should change the music I am listening to. It is making me slightly melancholy. Although it really is lovely music. It is New Buffalo. So pretty to listen to. And now it has changed. I am listening to my iPod on shuffle so I am getting all sorts of music - I mean, I do have 2374 tracks on my iPod and their vary from the Spice Girls to Bob Marley, and Ash Grunwald to Basement Jaxx. Now Ruby's Grace is playing, but they have broken up so I don't have a link for them. I love listening to my iPod on shuffle, you get to listen to all those songs you never think to listen to. Songs that you know, and have loved, but aren't always remembered. Or songs that you can bop along to that you forgot you had at all, or didn't think you had. They're the fun ones to here. Often so random. Actually, last time I listened to my iPod on shuffle the order of three songs that I remembered because they were so strange were:

1. Wannabe - Spice Girls
2. Rhapsody in Blue - Larry Adler (written by Gerwhin)
3. Naked and Famous - President of the United States of America

I thought it was fun!

weekends and confessions...

Well, not really confessions, but it sounds impressive..

I went to my dad's this weekend. And I am angry with him. I could handle it when he said he wasn't going to be at my 18th, he hasn't really been at any of my birthday parties since I was six and our family was actually still together. But last night he told me he wouldn't be at my graduation. Sure it doesn't seem like much, but my pissed off-edness has been boiling and this has just pushed me too far. Sure, I might seem like a melodramatic young girl, but it means something to me, so I think I have the right to vent - vent, vent, vent. Grr.. I don't really feel like having another bitch session about my father here, let's just say I am actually angry, rather than pissed off, and leave it at that.

That's all I wanted to write, nothing else to say. I should be doing homework instead of writing, so I should go do homework - hopefully it will get my mind off my anger..

the draft...

This is a bit of my draft for my English SAC - no one steal it!

As she sits she stares. Stares at the world. Stares in wonder. Stares at nothing but life. All around her is life. The buzzing of the bees and the growth of flowers. The sun shining down on the world. Each element works in harmony to create an oasis, a sanctuary. It is peaceful here. All she can hear are the birds in the trees and water in the river. All she can see is nature. There are no visible manmade objects. She is secluded.

As she sits she stares. Stares at the world. Stares in wonder. Stares at nothing but life. All around her is life. The honking of horns and the clatter of trams down the street. The sun shining down on the world. Each element competing for priority and creating chaos. There is no peace here. She can always hear cars or trucks. Occasionally a bird might tweet but manmade objects drown out the bird’s song. She is in the hustle and bustle of a city. She is in a metropolis.

Two experiences. Two locations. The world allows for both to exist, often simultaneously. Contrasts allow for new experiences. Contrasts help us to understand. The beauty of nature and the cement city may seem like two sides of a coin but they both exist in one world. In one life. For one person.

If anyone reading this has an opinion on it please tell me. I really want some feedback!

media on my mind...

This week is magazine week - Monday I worked on my media assignment for 5 hours, yesterday was 4.5 hours, today will be similar, tomorrow I have the whole day at school to do it (it is a pupil free day) and Friday I will have only 1.5 hours. Hopefully this thing gets completed on time...

I have an English Creative SAC next week - and no ideas about what to write. Well, that isn't quite true, just no ideas that I really like or think I could make into good pieces of work. I had an idea of doing a really descriptive piece, then do something about contrasts (between locations or stories), then I thought about putting these together. My latest idea was to write a piece focussing on two people in two different locations noticing what is around them - one in the country being 'free', and one in a traffic jam in the middle of a city feeling very 'un-free'. The two locations would alternate between paragraphs - one paragraph in the country, one in the city, one in the country, and so on and so forth. I'm not sure if I will follow this idea through or not. I kind of like it, but I'm not sure if I can make it descriptive enough, it may just end up being boring and not achieving anything I want it to - grr... I always hate creative pieces because I am not good at them, and I can't decide on one thing and follow it the way I imagined, like I do in report style essays. I did have the start of the piece though:

As she sits, she stares. Stares at the world. Stares in wonder. Stares at nothing but life.

That is all I have and I have to write it next Wednesday or Friday - I should really try harder in English, and leave my magazine alone for a while... School...

fifty and counting...

This is my 50th post! Oh yeah...

Big weekend, now I am tired. I went to two Eighteenths (one of which I got tipsy for the first time at) and had lunch with some friends. I actually managed to catch up with all my good friends in one weekend - I think the last time I achieved that was my birthday when they were all invited. Amanda's (on Friday night) was the party at which I got tipsy for the first time. It was all lovely until about 11:15pm when Ben realised that in 45mins his dad would be their to pick him up - and Ben was drunk!! He had drunk nearly a whole bottle of Vodka and two Red Eyes, so he wasn't quite with it. James (the other least drunk, but more drunk than me) and I looked after him and attempted to get him to calm down. He didn't and he got busted. I was telling people at school today how I had got tipsy for the first time on Friday and they laughed at me because I was treating it like a big achievement - well, it is for little 17 year old me! And my mum was teasing me about it! I kept denying that I was tipsy, because I didn't feel all that different, but she insisted that I was and that I should make sure I take some panadol and drink some water before I went to bed. At least I didn't throw up like some of the other guests...

negative and postive...

I developed my first films today! Actually, it was lots of fun and I am quite proud of myself - I did it on my own (after being run through the procedure). I freaked out a little bit on the second one when I could get the film onto the reel while in the bag-thing, but it sorted itself out! I must say, I think I need a better timing device for next time. I had no idea what the times were, and I was using my watch for a minute timer which wasn't really working. When I print some of the photos I will scan them and put them either here if I'm not 100% fond of them, or on my website if I love them. How exciting!!