film slump...

What is happening to the world? Film giant AGFA has filed for bankruptcy:

"AgfaPhoto, the former consumer imaging division of Belgian group Agfa-Gevaert, says it has filed for bankruptcy protection.
... with the boom in digital photography, sales of traditional photographic film and paper have slumped." ~ The Age, 30 May 2005

This meant that I couldn't get my photos developed yesterday because the shop I normally go to has decided to stop processing film!

Hmm... I have been in a strange mood lately, and moody too. I have come to the conclusion that it is because I don't do anything. I haven't had much homework lately, but I still managed to not do anything else. Sunday night and last night I spent the evening curled up in bed watching television and knitting. Sure I like doing that, but I think the lack of fun I have been having lately is playing with my brain. I have decided I have to do something this weekend, but with exams next week I'm not sure who else will be up for it. I don't want to do anything huge. Just a movie and lunch, or maybe even a groovy little picnic in a park - though the weekend is meant to be really cold and perhaps wet... I just want to do something! And with all the spare days I having coming up where I will spend most of my time on my computer working on my big Media assignment, this would be the perfect weekend to just do something!

Here's to getting out of the house!!

cameras and more cameras...

Now, I have posted previously about my dream Uni course and my worries about getting in without much film experience. So I decided to do something about it. I have been asking everyone I know with skill in film photography if they can help me. I now have my media teacher helping me with the school equipment (cameras, film, developing), my step-dad's dad's camera (is that my step-grandad?) which is a Canon T70 (I think) and an SLR, and my dad's Fujica SLR. I have four lenses, and some filters to play with. I am all fired up about getting used to them - and I think I like my dad's the best! It has a really nice light-metering system - easy to read!

I actually used a role of black and white film that was expired in 1988 yesterday. I had the settings wrong (the film was 400 ASA and I had the camera set to 1600 ASA) but I don't know how they will affect the result. My stepdad is getting a proof sheet done today for me, I think. I am very excited to see my first real role of film. Well, technically it is my third, I did one in year 8, and one on a medium format camera, so I should say that the role I took yesterday is my second 35mm role of film. Hopefully they aren't too bad, but without much experience with film and not knowing how the ASA will affect the pics, I'm a little worried... Oh well, we shall find out soon. I might even scan some into the computer so I have digital versions for web use... I have to get them back first, though.

In other year 12 school-girl news, I just got 50/50 on my last International Studies SAC for Unit 3. That means I got 98% for the Unit. I am most definitely happy! I didn't think I would do so well, but I tried really hard and wrote 10 pages - the longest essay I have ever written. Hm, I'm proud!

I am excited - my sister is about to start her first lot of exams. Year 11 exams! I don't know if she is nervous or not, I know I was when I first did mine, but then again Sarah doesn't seem to get nervous much. She has six exams starting this week. She's growing up!! Becoming a big girl... Ok, that sounds pathetic... Oh well... I am very proud of her! Hmph!

relief...

It went well!! I couldn't believe how smoothly Sunday lunch went. The meat was cooked, the vegies weren't all crunchy and raw, and the pudding tasted great! Mind you, the pudding was a little bit cold, but oh well. The one hitch was that while eating the delicious meat, my dad broke one of his teeth. It was hilarious. We though he had crunched on a bone from the meat or something, but when he pulled it out from his mouth..there was a tooth! I didn't hurt, or so I was told, but I did feel pretty bad about it. Conversation was good, nothing too strange so nanny could be involved in the conversations. Sarah and I were able to show off our various art forms (photography and audio technician-ry). We both got sufficiently lovely responses of "Oh" and "Lovely"! Then when it got to about 3:30pm and dad and nanny headed home, Sarah and I had a mini party in the kitchen while washing the dishes. Not too bad!!

What a relief...

I will post about my lovely cameras in a bit.. I have to go to class.

sunday lunch...

This Sunday my dad and nanny are coming to our house for lunch. Being only 17 I have been fretting about making a decent lunch for them. I don't want to burn it, I don't want it to be raw, I don't want it to taste bad. I want it to be perfect. Sarah and I are cooking. We only decided this morning what we are actually cooking. Being driven to school we had ideas being thrown at us by mum, and we batted most of them away. We came to the decision that we will cook a roast. Roast beef. Roast vegetables: potato, onion, pumpkin, carrot. Then some peas and cauliflower. Hopefully, we will be able to make some gravy too - here's hoping!! Then we have to make dessert. I made an awesome carrot cake last week so that was the first idea. But Sarah wanted chocolate cake. So we decided to make a chocolate self-saucing pudding (my dad's absolute favourite!). But, because we always have chocolate self-saucing pudding with dad we decided to do something a little different - butterscotch self-saucing pudding.. with ice-cream and cream!! So indulgent!! Hopefully, my nan (who I see once or twice a year - she lives in a different state) will enjoy her lunch - fingers crossed!!

Next week the fun begins. Thursday is the end of Unit 3. I have Friday off. The next week I have Monday and Tuesday off, Wednesday is the GAT (General Achievement Test) and Thursday and Friday is a camp to Melbourne to check out Universities. Should be fun! I hope. After that I have the next Monday and Tuesday off. My big Media assignment is due the next day (the 15th) Then it is my mum's birthday, my aunties birthday (16th) and Hannah's birthday(17th). So some shopping needs to take place on the days off. I pretty much know what they will all be getting for their birthdays, but because they might read this, I won't write anything here. But the presents will/are awesome!! So very cool!

Yesterday I put some of my Uni worries to rest. I called the RMIT and talked to some people who seemed to know a little bit of what I wanted to know. My biggest concern was that I hadn't had much practice with film photography - I'm digital. One of the the guys made a point of telling me that Uni is a place to learn, so if you don't know something that is part of the course, you will probably learn when you get there. That made sense. And now I am not so worried. I think I will just plod along now, try and take some film photos (on an SLR camera) and see how that turns out. I also have to make sure that I keep checking out the other courses that could be good for me. I can't just stop at one, I might not get in!

Now, I must return a favour. My lovely cousin, Mae Friend, said everyone should check out my blog and my site, so I think everyone should check her blog too: One Two Tree. Enjoy it!

hopes and dreams...

I am being very melodramatic at the moment. I posted the other day about my dream Uni course - Bachelor of Arts (Photography). But now I am sad, and worried... And slightly panicky. If I was to get through to being shortlisted for the course, I would need a folio. So, of course, I went to the website to check out the Folio Preperation course. This is where I started getting worried. Just for the prep course you need to have negatives, transparencies and a 35mm camera. But I've never used film for photography before... Not seriously, at least. I have done the old happy snaps with my pink point and shoot camera, but never properly with a proper camera, and proper development myself... Eek... Now I'm worried that the course I want to get into will be closed to me because I haven't got the experience. I was telling some friends and they were very supportive about my little worry. The made a point of trying to come up with solutions - get a tutor for the rest of the year so you have experience, etc.. I just emailed the Uni.

Fingers crossed...

don't panic...

I should really follow the advice I give out to people: "Don't panic, everything will be fine". But I don't.

Every night this week and last week as people start talking more and more about next year I have these mini panic attacks. 'Next year' is that special first year out of high school. Into the big, bad world. I remember in year seven when I started high school that year twelve, finishing, seemed like a million years away. It was something I never really thought about. I love school, and was quite happy that finishing was a million years away. But now it's not. Now finishing is just around the corner. My last day of actual school is the 20th of October. That's it. After that high school is completed. Onto Uni and the world.. Out into the real world of bills, cars, houses..

I am are scared stiff. Monday I found my 'dream Uni course'. It as called Bachelor of Arts (Photography). I think I would love it. I was talking to my mum last night about life and whingeing that I didn't have any time to update my website or take photos. She told me to imagine what it will be like if I do a degree in photography - I won't have to do much else except for photography. That made me happy. But then I thought about the rest of it. I say I'm an independant person. I love being on my own. And I am often confident - when I'm not out of my comfort zone. Pull me out of what I know and I am timid as a mouse.. I don't talk, I don't interact.. I become boring. Most parties I go to I turn into this person. When it's a friends party it isn't so bad, but through in lots of people I don't really know and I will find a nice corner in the room and stay there. So next year frightens me.

It frightens me because I don't know what will happen. It frightens be because I can't be certain something will happen. It frightens me because I can't plan everything and be sure about everything. I may sound like a bit of a wuss, but I don't care. That's me! A wuss. I've never been on a rollercoaster, I've never been drunk, I've never been kissed. I'm just boring, timid me.

I hate uncertainties..

the galaxy and beyond...

"I'd make a suggestion, but you wouldn't listen. No one ever does."

Yesterday I ventured to the movies - alone! I love going alone, not quite sure why, I just do. I went to see Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, after many recommendations (and seeing that robot with the big head on tv, teehee!). There were four people in the cinema: me eating M&Ms, a guy who was about 40 eating popcorn at the very back and a 40-something year old couple sitting just in front of me laughing their heads off. I assume the couple in front of me were well versed in the book - the knew what was going on. I went there with no idea what was going on.. and came out knowing not much more. Some of the ideas in it are great fun - those dolphins and those mice! And some were nice and philosophical and some insanely ludicrous! I loved it.

Actually, what was really funny was when I got home was sister was watching some silly teen show and they were at Sea World hanging out with the dolphins! I laughed out loud and my sister thought I was nuts. The were doing spins and flips and waving their flippers about - great fun!

And I so want one of the Guides.. I want a book that says "Don't Panic" on the cover - how very laid back! Hmm..

I had dreams of being hit in this face if I thought and dreams of having a big white head and a depressed outlook...

"I think you ought to know I am feeling very depressed."

the bus...

The great thing about catching a public bus: the strange people who randomly decide to chat to you. Last night some 30 year old guy in a long black jacket, badly bleached hair and feminine voice eating god-knows-what overheard me attempting to tell Hannah about Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - poorly I might add. This poor attempt seems to be what caught this guys attention because he turned around to us and asked if we were talking about Hitchhikers's. After admitting that yes we were talking about that movie he decided to explain the 'real' concept and how when he was seven years younger than we are now (we are both 17) the book was made into a tv show which he loved, so, of course, he knew exactly what he was talking about. I don't know if what he said was correct, but it sounded interesting. He said the book was actually about a French-man who was guiding (hence Hitchhiker's Guide) someone and the "galaxy" he was guiding him around was a metaphor for religion. So the book was really about a man's realisation of life and religion. However he then went on to comment on the lateness of the bus and the fact that there was a couple kissing in front of us, and that 30 year olds really knew everything, or at least something about everything. It was interesting...

happiness..or stress...

Happiness can come in the most interesting and exciting forms. The most recent exposure to happiness I have encountered was when my mum got her new boots from overseas. She has been looking for "the right pair of boots" for about four years and she finally found them in America. She ordered them and was waiting for about a month to see what they would look like "in person" and how they would feel on her little size 7 1/2 feet. They arrived! She carefully opened the box, with much love and anticipation, to find two black leather boots. With zips up the side and heels not-too-high they looked perfect. She put them on.. We all stood around her (my step-dad, my sister and I) waiting to see how she reacted - another let down wouldn't be nice.. To all of our delight they were perfect! She ran around the house in glee, laughing like a little girl with her new pair of party shoes on! Mum ran and got a skirt, stripped in the lounge room (to my sister and I's horror) and put the skirt and boots on. She then stood in front of the full length mirror we have in our hallway for the next half hour, trying on different skirts and different pants, looking lovingly at how each piece of clothing was complimented perfectly by her beautiful new boots. Once my sister, step-dad and I had gone off to our respective rooms in the house to get to homework and other work, mum decided to give each of us a personal fashion show. She knocked excitedly on the door, thrust it open, danced in and said "Look!" She followed this exclamation with a little happy dance, then danced out of the room onto the next family member. She had even decided she would wear her new shoes to bed. Thankfully, she had had a long day at work so she finally gave us some peace when she fell asleep.

The next morning she came running down the stairs from her room saying "Look at what I'm wearing today!" She did another happy dance and stood in front of the mirror for another little while. So very deliriously happy was she!!

Then on the other hand, there is the lovely little piece of stress I was handed today.. We were told at the very start of the year that the documentation part of our huge media final would be due at the end of second term/first semester. Today, after the teacher realised the mistake she had made, she changed the due date from the end of term to the end of unit three - three weekds earlier. The uproar in the classroom was astounding! Some students haven't started, some had. Luckily, I wasn't as stressed as others because I have started to plan the piece a little bit - but not enough for it to be due in four weeks!

Eeek..

On top of that I have another media assignment due in one and a half weeks which today I realised was actually a whole lot more work than I expected it to be. I must admit, though, the reason that it is so much is all my fault. We had to choose two techniques or elements to print or photography that we needed a bit more practice on for the final at the end of the year. I decided to look at lighting/colour and typography/colour. I thought it would be really interesting to look at the effect the colour of the image and the font/colour or the text on the front of a magazine has on what the reader expects of the magazine. I have been writing my intention/proposal now for just under 3 hours, and it is nowhere near finished. Then I have to shoot it, and compile it all. Then right an evaluation.. And none of it is really meant to be done outside of class time..

Whinge, whinge, whinge.. I should really just get off the net and onto my work, hey?

issues...

What should one think of beggars?

chocolate and videos...

This weekend my mum went to Melbourne with some old Uni friends. My step-dad travelled to Melbourne each day with a wine-tour-owner-friend of his to taste wines. That left my sister and I alone in the house. I answer to an empty house - chocolate, diet coke, ice-cream, and videos! We walked to the video store to get "six weekly's for $10". We decided to go for comedies, though some weren't exactly the comedy we were after. I really don't get how some of the movies could be classed as comedy, the should have their own "black-comedy/drama" section. We hired Pieces of April, Sidewalks of New York, Le Divorce, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, High Fidelity and Reality Bites. Best: Pieces of April. Worst/most boring: Le Divorce followed by Sidewalks of New York. I love Reality Bites, and High Fidelity has some great bits. And, in tribute to High Fidelity:

Top 5 Best songs to listen to while doing homework:
1. Anything by New Buffalo
2. Angry Anymore - Ani Difranco
3. Silence - Xavier Rudd
4. Hille Le - Indian Ocean
5. Cactus that Found the Beat - Missy Higgins

Top 5 Worst Songs to listen to while doing homework:
1. Anything by Tripod (too much funny stuff to listen to)
2. Go to Work - Trojan Horns (I go to work.. ba dom ba dom ba ba dom ba dom ba bom)
3. Sweet Enough - Trojan Horns
4. Tapped and Wired - Ember Swift
5. Out West - Ash Grunwald

the fire...

The other night, I was going home with my step-dad and we saw this smoke over a hill. So I got my trusty camera and we went to the scene! Actually, we thought a school was on fire when we were driving towards it, but we found that they were just burning some grass off behind the school. Here are some of the pics I took:




In other news, I am burnt! I shot the Athetics Day at my school today and it was a beautiful day and I didn't put on any sunscreen.. All my fault off course. It is a very funny-looking burn actually. I had a thick necklace with a big round bit on it and the burn is around the shape - it look silly! And tomorrow is when I get to go to the music festival and be a photographer, so I might have some shots to show later! I am so completely and totally excited!! Yay!

photography, photography...

I am so excited! I get to do two full days of photography! I am taking the photos for my school magazine at our Athletics Carnival (not great subject matter, but lets see what I can do..). Then on Saturday I am going to a Music Festival as a media/photography person with my step-dad who is recording gigs for the radio program he does. I am supposed to be taking photos for the radio station - yay!! I am so incredibly excited! Hmm.. that is actually all I have to say except that I am excited that it is a long weekend.. Wish me luck!

the noisy bus...

After the first day back of term 2, we weren't really in the greatest mood. Jo and I were on the bus on the way home, chatting quietly in the back hoping that the terror would decide to hang around and leave us in some amount of peace. Unlucky for us, the terror decided the 3:45pm bus was perfect for her.. In fact, she even decided to sit right in front of us with her noisy friends. The swearing, slapping and yelling that ensued and the 'norm' for the terror. She has actually been complained about by the public.. We tried to just chat and block the terrors piercing voice from our heads, but to no avail. What a lovely thing it is to have peace and quiet.. After the bus ride home particularly.

I got home, put New Buffalo on and sat it mellow peace and quiet - lovely.. Then, lucky me, I got to sit for an hour and chat to three of my favourite people (on msn, but nonetheless) with my beautiful white cat (Jessica) curled up on my lap.

She is the most bizarre animal really - she thinks she is a human baby! She sleeps on my bed and sometimes on my pillow, and occasionally burrows her way under by doona. She likes to be held like a baby - with her head supported by the crook of your arm. And if someone comes to the house and doesn't say hello to her she gets mighty grumpy. Actually, she is really quite old. I think she is about 8 years old now, maybe nine. I remember choosing her from a friends litter - she was pure white but with a little black stripe down the middle of her head - ever so cute! Now, however the black stripe is gone. And all of our clothes are white! I haven't seen another cat malt as much as Jess does - you touch her and you get covered it fur. Really quite annoying when my favourite colour to wear is brown and my mothers is black - well, now it's black and white...

What a lovely evening I had..

page 123, the fifth sentence...

A new book meme is circulating and its rules are these (via Keri Smith):

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the coolest book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

"He is not a true monk who harms another nor a true renunciate who oppresses others." -- Venerable Buddharakkhita (Dhammapada: a practical guide to right living)

This is actually the fourth sentence, there are only four sentences on the page...

hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go...

Just this weekend then it is back to school for my third last term at high school. I should really be excited, and lots of people are, but I am more scared. I'm not a big one for the unknown. For about a week (last week actually) I though I knew what I wanted to do next year. Just one week of certainty...and now it is gone! I had decided on the course I wanted to do next year and it was set, I had something to focus on. For once I actually had something to tell people when they asked me what I wanted to do when I finished high school. Until I told a lecturer friend of mine... Then it all became unknown again... She told me that I should be doing the course I wanted to do somewhere else and I should add different things to the course and I should watch what I choose because the one I was thinking of could be boring... And now I am confused again... I had decided I was going to so a Bachelor of Art (Media and Communication) and add some Psychology and IT perhaps, then do a Bachelor of Education (fourth year) so I could teach at secondary schools in Psychology, Media and IT - my favourite subjects. But now I am not so sure... I have been told by some people to keep working on my photography so I should do a visual art course in photography/digital photography. Others have said that I would be a good teacher so going in that direction is good... Well, I suppose most peopl change their occupation five times on average in their life. But I still to do something next year. Whinge, whinge, whinge... The one good thing is that everyone I have talked to says that Uni is great and the study is fun because you have chosen it and it is something that interests you. I am looking forward to Uni...I just don't know what I am going to do when I get there...

sugar hit...

After an evil weekend at my dad's (with the step mother) I desperately needed a sugar hit. So, here I am eating little red gummi bears and watching trashy tv. However, the weekend wasn't all that bad. As a heat-hater, the walk down the street in 31 degree celcius heat wasn't nice, nor was walking around a market in the same heat today nice, when the tropics-like weather change hit I was loving it. Walking around the streets of artsy precinct St Kilda was lovely. I bought a couple of arty books (for inspiration of course!), some gorgeous handmade beads and a gorgeous handmade purse from cybertart. The purse is denim on the back and a picture with plastic covering it as the front. The pic is a digital illustration of a girl - it is so very awesome! And I also officially (not yet completely, but I'm sure I will get there) love St Kilda. The shops along the only street I went along were great! Gorgeous gift shops, and one awesome "hippy" shop. Oh, and I must say it, great cafes! That's it for my advertisement... Sugar!!

"Remind me to send him a red cap and a Speedo..."

In perfect holiday style I went to the movies. I saw the new Wes Anderson movie "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou", and to my delight found it completely delightful! It was ludicrous, funny and nutty. However, it was not as good as Anderson's previous flick "The Royal Tenebaums" (which I loved). What I was most excited about, though, was the trailer I saw before the movie (which is not to say that I wasn't excited about the movie, I was, I just found the trailer excited too). It was the trailer for a movie called "Sin City". I think the movie is based on a comic or something from a comic (not being a comic fan, I wouldn't know). But, lately I have been wondering why more modern movie makers forget that black and white films can be great. The use of light and dark in films like "Citizen Kane", "Psycho" and "The Third Man" are awesome. I always wondered why modern directors/cinematographers didn't 'embrace' the black and white medium - it would be such fun to play with! Then... I saw the trailer for "Sin City" and, lo and behold, a black and white movie. Given, it has been made in 'comic book' style and that is the reason for the (not complete, by the way) lack of colour, but I was still very excited! And it was completely done digitally. The whole movie was shot in a back lot in front of a green screen, and the backdrops were added post-production. I am muchly looking forward for this movie to be released (in Australia) and look forward to seeing it - yay for black and white movies!

I must also admit, in holiday style, and with absolutely no regret, that I, Jem, have been a vegetable for most of the holidays so far. I have been out at some point in the day on less than half of my holiday days. I, with absolute relaxation on the agenda, love the holidays! I was talking to my cousin, who has a personality pretty much the opposite of mine, about this use of holiday time. She was commenting how even when she has a free day from uni, if she doesn't go out and do something she gets very bored. But it is my nature to adore the 'alone' time. I love vegeing and have no apologise for doing nothing! While I do love being with people, I think I am introverted and thus too much time having to worry about awkward silences and being 'chirpy' really starts to piss me off and make me grumpy. So here's to the days when I am so totally allowed to do nothing - cause I can! Ha!

hot in autumn?

The weather lately has been odd. Being in the Southern Hemisphere, we are one month into Autumn. Now, in Autumn you expect the temperature to drop, to be below 25 degrees celsius or some such. But here, we have just had two days of 30+ degrees celsius - in AUTUMN!! I think of Autumn as the season where the leaves change colour, and the temperature drops.. not as the season when some days are warmer than in summer. The good thing is, the warmth (which I hate; cool weather is my thing) has given me an excuse why not to venture outside and thus take photos around the house of various bits and pieces.

"to dare every day to be irreverent and bold. to dare to preserve the randomness of mind which in children produces strange and wonderful new thoughts and forms. to continually scramble the familiar, bring the old into the new juxtaposition." -- gordon webber

the holidays begin...

I had my second English SAC on Thursday (the last day of term). I think it went ok, it was the right length at least. I wrote about the imposed limitations on the characters. I now have to wait until school goes back to find out how I did. I actually hate this waiting until marks come back. Depending on the subject and the SAC I might be nervous or worried, but I always want to know how I did - no matter how badly I expect to have gone. Oh well, I only have two weeks so that's not to bad.

But, that SAC marked the end of the term! Two weeks of (hopefully) fun. I always have good holidays, I can't remember one when I haven't had a good time even if I spent it at home pottering and doing homework. Just the break from school is nice. But these holidays I have had many offers of fun - new friends, new excitement... maybe even some alcohol - hehehe! Movie outtings, themed-video nights, photograph-taking trips. Fun to be had!!