birthday wishes for myself

Today I am eighteen - yes, 18!! I am so incredibly excited - I love birthdays! I have gots heaps of presents so far from my family, including a DVD burner, subscriptions to my favourite magazines, some lenses for my cameras, clothes, a new alarm clock with CD player, wool, a badge that says "Iraq is Arabic for Vietnam", some chocolate, three pairs of earrings, Outfoxed on DVD, a book called Jennifer Government, a belt, and a 2006 diary (which is a really pretty green!). I told you I got heaps of stuff!

This morning when Sar and I were in the car on the way to school I told her I can now buy her alcohol and she responded with: "Well, lets go to the bottle shop on the way to school!" I was highly amused and told her so, to which she said: "Just because you go to the bottle shop doesn't mean you are going to drink alcohol" - She is a funny one!

(I have just noticed that I am using exclamation marks a lot more often than I normally do - does this demonstrate my enthusiasm about birthdays?)

Hmmm, 18... I can pretty much do everything now - legally drink, legally buy alcohol, legally gamble, legally buy cigarettes.. But 18 also signals the end of high school - in eight days.. just 8... That freaks me out just a little, or maybe a lot. University next year - into the real world. How very scary. The one thing I keep reminding myself, which may seem completely stupid and obvious to everyone else but it helps to remind myself, is that there are lots and lots and lots and lots of people who have grown old and are loving it - yes, I told you it was stupid. I just tell myself that if they can do, I can! And it seems to work. Now that I write it is seems really stupid, but it's the truth - it really does help!

Tonight I don't think I will do anything much, maybe just go home and think about the fact that I could be at the pub being an "adult". But tomorrow night is my party. Just friends and family coming over to my place to have a drink and listen to music and generally have fun! Lots of celebrating shall be enjoyed that night! I think about 28 people are coming, approximately. Should be heaps of fun!

I was just picked on by my old maths teacher for "playing on the computer" - silly man! I'm eighteen, today is for celebrating and NOT doing homework!! Except that I have IPM (and my teacher's birthday is today also) and English - so I think I will actually have to do some homework in those classes, not that I particularly want to..

Ooh, Moondance (the Van Morrison version) just came on my iPod - I love this song! Actually I love this whole CD - the Moondance CD. I had Glad Tidings in my head all Wednesday and Thursday - that is also a great song by Van Morrison! Hmm...

I think I will go off surfing the web - just generally doing not much.. Sounds good!

remember me?

It has been forever since I posted - and I have no real excuse for it being so. Sure I've been busy, but I really should have found a few minutes to write an entry.. Well, here is my catch-up entry, and I think it will end up being quite lengthy.

Last time I blogged was about a month ago, so I have been on school holidays, and finished my last high school SAC - ever! The holidays were lovely. The first weekend was my step-dad's 50th birthday and party where we opened a lovely 20 year old bottle of Hermitage Grange - I'm not a wine lover, but this was really tasty!

Monday-Thursday of the first week I went to Apollo Bay for a little holiday with Megs. It was intended to be a 'study holiday', but I think we ended up watching more DVDs than studying! We watched 11 of the thirteen episode of 'Lano and Woodley'. They are hilariously funny!! They are an aussie comedy duo that did stand-up comedy for a while, then made a tv show, and I don't know where they are now.. We also walked on the beach two of the days which was great. It was quite chilly, but it was nice to walk in the cold water and along the sand - very refreshing after studying for the morning.

After I got back on Thursday I started working on my folio which I took to the short course I did at RMIT for the second week of the holidays - Photography Folio Preparation Course. It was excellent! I learnt heaps about the photography industry, my camera and darkroom work. The camera thing I learnt was that my camera is borken. Well, more specifically it is my 50mm lens. The aperture is stuck on f1.8 and will not stop down! It meant that pretty much all my photos are over exposed.. I also got to use the RMIT TAFE darkrooms which are a hell of a lot better than my high school's version! At school we don't use any type of filters in the cameras or on the enlarger - but I learnt about contrast filters at RMIT. And I got to play with some film I hadn't ever used - I used transperency film, an Ilford film that has an ISO of 125, and I got a chromogenic film that is made by Kodak. I haven't used the Kodak film yet, I'm waiting for a good situation where I can create some good black and white photos. That was another I learnt at RMIT - how lacking in black and white experience I really am. I have to get lots more done, and add lots of black and whites to my folio.

The last weekend was spent at Jess's house chatting, shopping and discovering a lovely new way to drink vodka - with orange juice! We were up until about 1 or 2am both Friday night and Saturday chatting and watching DVDs. And I finally saw The Triplets of Belleville which was awesome! I love the song that goes with it! Hannah, Jess and I were completely riveted to the screen while we were watching it - we were competely drawn into the animation and the soundtrack, and the sweet little story! It was awesome!

Then Sunday I went out for lunch with my Dad and my sister because it is Sarah and my birthday's this week. Sar was 16 on Tuesday and I will be 18 tomorrow - I am highly excited!!

That marked the end of the holidays - which I didn't mind because I got an awesome birthday present!! When school went back I had to get used to get up at 6:30am again. It hasn't been too bad though. School is still the same (but will only be so for another two weeks). I had a SAC on Wednesday, but other than that school has just been revision.

On Tuesday night, however, we celebrated Sar's birthday in style! A group of eight of us (mum, John, Sar, me, and four friends of John's) went to a taping of the SBS television show RockWiz. It was really cool. I got to watch a television show being taped, and edited right there and then! I was excited. And Sar was excited because as a birthday treat, the guys at RockWiz allowed Sar to rock up early and hang out with the sound technician (which is her chosen career path) and see what he sets up and does for the show. I think he only controlled the front of house stuff, for the audience, but Sarah still enjoyed it!

And that was the last few weeks, in a nutshell! As well as all that fun stuff I have been sorting out all my uni applications and choosing photos for my folio which has been fairly exciting, not to mention nerve-racking! I have only had to send in two of the three applications so far, but I sent both in just in time to make it - I really am pushing it.. I should be more organised, but oh well - they are in! Hopefully I get interviews for them all - fingers crossed...

we're off to see the wizard...

"The wonderful Wizard of Oz". It has been in my head since my friends and I decided we were dressing up as characters from the movie for "Muck Up Day". "Muck Up Day", or as the principal wants as to call it: "Celebration Day", is the final school day for year 12s. We dress up, watch a slideshow of lots of photos, do a concert for the rest of the school and go home early; it is our celebration together for finishing high school. Megan and Meaghan came up with the idea while looking in a costume shop. I am the Wicked Witch, Megan is Scarecrow, Meaghan is Dorothy, Jess is the Lion, and Hannah is Tinman. My mum is making all our costumes, and we are terribly excited, even though the actual day doesn't happen until the 20th of October. Still, it is our final day of high school and the high school/primary school process which has lasted for 13 years. That bit of our life will basically be over as of 20 October 2005. Granted, we have exams after that, but no more high school classes - ever. It is terribly scary!! Each time I calculate how many days of school are left (yes, I know I have written something along these lines in a previous blog), which currently stands at 12 days, I get completely petrified. COmpletely! After this is finished I have to be an adult. I will be 18 and have to face the real world, not the fun little world of high school, where every day is pretty much the same, and pretty much full from 9am to 3:15pm. My last exam is on the 16th of November, and I graduate on the 28th (I think) of November. Then it will be done. Then it will be over. Yes, I am a drama queen when it comes to this, but after 13 years, I have become slightly attached to schooling the way I know it. I have only ever attended two schools: my primary school and my secondary school. From prep to six at primary school, and seven to 12 at high school. That is all.. I should probably come to terms with it - hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousand, millions of people have finished high school and gone onto other things - uni, work, etc... I want to go to uni. I really really want to get into one of the photography courses I have applied for. I doubt I will get into the Fine Art course, but the other three I might have a chance in. And if they fail, I think I am happy staying at home and going to the Uni which is 20mins by bus from my house - that is the Uni that I know, I have been there a number of times with school and my step-dad. I know that Uni, but I don't know the Uni in Melbourne, another reason I am freking out... But, I think I will be alright. In fact, I am determined to be alright, even successful, at Uni - whichever one I go to!

Ooh, my Media teacher today asked me, and two other students in my class, if we would like to be nominated, and enter, Top Arts, which is for the best students in Arts subjects from Victoria. I am excited about that. It pretty much means that we got an A or an A+ for our Media assignment - that was my magazine. I was proud of it, and now I am even more proud of it - that is, if it got me an A!! Very cool.

I should really get to doing some homework. I have my last English SAC on Friday, so I should study...

chocolate and pre-selection kits...

I went to see the new Willy Wonka movie, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, last night. I really enjoyed it. However, through the whole movie I was expecting the characters to do things that were in the 1971 Gene Wilder version - but they didn't do them. Having the old movie in my head kinda spoiled last night because I was constantly waiting for things that weren't going to happen. But I did really enjoy it. It was a fundraiser for my year's (year 12) graduation at the end of the year. We got $3 per ticket, and I reckon we had about 200 people there - so I don't think it was a bad effort. Johnny Depp is great as Willy Wonka - he is sufficiently strange. And they added this great 'message' about how family is really important. Though I'm not sure I liked that bit - a bit to messy for this chcolate genius to be completely out of whack because his dentist father wouldn't allow him to eat chocolate when he was a boy. Oh well, I still enjoyed it!

I have been doing all these (four) pre-selection kits for the courses I applied for, for next year. Uni is seeming to be closer and closer, and the fact that I turn 18 in 31 days has just made the idea that I am growing up and moving on all the more prevalent. It is kind of scary, and has almost thrown me, that I will be 18 very shortly, and then I will leave high school (where I have been for the past six years), and I will move into the big wide world, and become independant. While I wouldn't start Uni until February of next year, just the graduating from high school is pushing me in the direction of 'adult-ness'. It's bloody scary! Then in a year and 31 days I will be 19 - and that sounds so different to 18, even though it is only a year difference. Don't you think 19 sounds really different to 18? I suppose everyone waits for 18, so school is often full of 18, or nearly 18, year olds. But after high school, you turn 19, then 20, and on and on and on... It just keeps going - right into the future. Ok, so now I sound insane, that I haven't really come to terms with the fact the I will get older and live my life, but until this year I hadn't really thought about it. I had always just seen finishing high school as a big milestone, and then Uni as something that is really far off - but now it is next year... Yes, I am freaking out... I think I need to go and ponder this idea of life, and develop some photos - which is what I am off to do now - yay!

Also, just a little add on, I wish Megan lots of fun teeth stuff - she is getting her brases off this morning!

interesting things...

I wish I had interesting things to write about, or an interesting way to right about things. So many blogs I read are written with such style - interesting language, thought-provoking comments, inspirational meanderings. My blog is just a jumble of a 17 year olds life.. oh so uninteresting..

I am slightly down today - is it obvious? And if I don't stop blogging now, I feel I will get even more down - toodles...

as promised...

Here are two examples of the pictures I took on Saturday night at Sweethearts Party '05:

Jessie singing

The bass player for Li'l Fi

I like them...

busy busy bee...

I have been very busy of late, and have had nothing really to write. But this morning I feel I should blog about something.

Some count downs:

• 86 days until my last exam
• 46 days until I turn 18
• 29 school days left

I am kinda freaked out by that last one - less than a month of school days until high school is finished...

I had a good weekend - indeed, a very good weekend! It was a friends 18th on Friday night - where, though parents were serving the alcohol, a fair bit was consumed (my new favourite - Midori and Lemonade!). The funniest bit though - when Jess opened a present and jumped back in, maybe, horror. The present: a garter belt! So very humorous!! Then, after presents, Hannah decided to decorate me as a present. I had wrapping paper and bows stuck on my head and clothes. We decorated Hannah as well, then went out to meet a friends dad in our finery - he was pleasantly amused! I think we got to bed at something like 2am, after, of course, the fortune telling with a deck of cards!

On Sunday night, the Sweethearts had their annual 'Party '05'. More drinks, some dancing and lots of photograph taking by me! I borrowed my aunties very cool camera (Canon 300D Digital SLR) and took 123 photos. Another late night. I took some cool pics, so I will put one or two up to show everyone.

In uni news - I have my pre-selection kit for BA Photography, but I still have to sort out the pre-selection kits for the other courses. I am so excited about it all. I have to get 15 5"x7" photos for the pre-selection kit, and write a bit about myself - should be interesting! I have to decide on the shots. I plan to include some flowers, some architecture, some live gig shots and some posed shots. Now to choose just 15! The BA kit has to be in by the 21st of October, and I'm not sure about the other kits - I should get to work..

I have finally sorted out my 8 preferences for VTAC Applications:

1. BA Photography
2. Scientific and Industrial Photography
3. Fine Arts Photography
4. Applied Photography
5. Bachelor of Arts
6. Bachelor of Arts (Media and Communications)
7. Bachelor of Psychology (strange choice, I know)
8. Bachelor of Arts (International Studies)

Should be interesting, and I have a preference session today so I will learn all about it.

Right now I think I better be off. I have a Media SAC this afternoon that I should really have thought about more thoroughly (it is about social values and Leave it to Beaver), and I have International Studies now. Joy...

RMIT yesterday...

I went to RMIT Open Day yesterday. I was really excited on my way there, but I left feeling strange. I have come up with a few reasons:

1. I feel nervous about leaving school
2. I feel inadequate with my own photos for my folio
3. I am over excited about everything - so am going insane..
4. I have too many choices, well two, but you know..
5. I am rethinking Photography as a path because I can't think of reasons why I want to do it except "I like doing it"

Maybe I am just over-thinking it; worried about nothing.. But it did help that I got to chat to James and Abby last night - they cheered me up!

Now I am off to study periods, to not do study... Maybe I will play some games, or ponder some more and add more to this entry.. who knows...

short posts...

I really am sick of short posts, but I can't think of much more to write, and lately I haven't had much time to write at all.

I finished my Media assignment last night - all finished. I just need to print it at school today and then get it printed tomorrow by a professional - well, OfficeWorks to be exact. But I think they can do I better job at the printing than my inkjet at home, or even the laser printer at mum's work that has nearly run out of ink. The magazine is 12 layouts. That is six layouts per issue, with two issues. Each issue has 12 pages, but in my head (and officially) that equates to six layouts. Hopefully that is ok.. I hope...

I am having a very big argument with my computer at the moment. Strange things keep happening with my iTunes and Adobe Photoshop programs. Well, maybe the iTunes issue is more an issue with my iPod. Files on my iPod keep 'corrupting' on me - they just won't work! I loaded stuff the other day, and now they have disappeared. It worked on my computer, but not on my iPod - I have no idea what is going on! And with Photoshop, when I exit the program it says there are problems and it has to quit - but it has already quit. And some files won't save as PDFs - argh!!

That is as long as this post is going to be - I have to go and do some work, and look after Megan. She doesn't seem very with it - so tired!!

media media media...

My magazine is nearly finished. One more article and a spell check/proofread and it's done. I am printing it on the weekend and then I might put some thumbnails of it up here or on my site. Joy!!

And it is RMIT Open Day on Sunday - I am very excited!!

jemmyB: a new look...

A kind of new look for my photography site jemmyB. Some new fonts, change of text, a few new colours. I think it will last for ages 'cause I like it. Though I'm not sure about the font yet.. Have to ponder..

And more pondering is to be done because, again, I have nothing to put here - so off I will go a-ponderin'.

new look...

Thought I would just post a little comment about my new look! I have been working on it for 3 and a half hours, instead of doing homework. I think it looks pretty good. A bit more me - an a bit more like my site. Groovy!!

nothing to say...

I really don't have anything to say. I don't even know why I am posting if I have nothing to say. I could tell you that I have just updated jemmyB with three new images. One of my sister, one of four coloured glasses, and one taken driving in a car with a slow shutter speed. I like the glasses the most - the colour worked really well. Or at least I think so.

Or I could tell you that I am trying to change this page to look "cooler". I have been fiddling with the code and am going to try and design my own colour scheme and images on the weekend. If I can work it out that is. I might be sitting online for a while whilst I try and figure that out..

Or I could even tell you that it is a casual dress day today because it is Jeans for Genes Day. And that I am wearing a scarf that I made from Italian wool and a t-shirt I bought at an op-shop. But that could be almost over-sharing.. Oh well..

winteryness and blogging...

It is the start of August. The beginning of the end of Winter. So many times I have said that I hate summer, but there are some days... You know those warm days that are just cheerful? They make you happy sitting in your summer clothes. Those days are the ones I can't wait for. I hate the days when all you want to do is sit in the freezer, they are horrid. You feel sticky and hot - not nice. Those days are the ones when I wish for winter, when you can snuggle up. I suppose I like all the seasons in their own way. Summer for the happy semi-calm that can come over people; the lazy summer feeling. Autumn for the leaves - crunch crunch! Winter for the lovely snuggly nights, when you can sit in bed or on the couch under a warm blanket and just make yourself like a bug in a rug. Spring for the flowers... and my birthday. They are all good in their own way. All enjoyable for at least part of the three months. And soon we will be in Spring. Only 31 days. Another cycle will have been complete. Another year. The next winter that comes around for me will be when I am at university (hopefully...). After August I will never have a winter as a high school student. I sound so melancholy. But I'm not. I am so excited about it all now. It has taken me a while to get here. I have had to find a focus for next year. When all my friends were leaving at the end of last year I felt slightly lost. I didn't have direction. I knew another year of high school was coming, but then what. I had no clue. I had no ideas. I felt lost so often. Now I have direction. Now I know what I want to do, what I would love to do. And I am excited - finally! I have something I feel passionate about. Finally. October 20th. The last day of year twelve - and finally I am working towards it, not trying to stay away from it.

Another of my friends has joined the blogging world. Megs at who burnt the biscuits? She has posted three times already. Actually, she is such a procrastinator I'm sure she will blog often! Welcome to Megs, from me!!

I think I should change the music I am listening to. It is making me slightly melancholy. Although it really is lovely music. It is New Buffalo. So pretty to listen to. And now it has changed. I am listening to my iPod on shuffle so I am getting all sorts of music - I mean, I do have 2374 tracks on my iPod and their vary from the Spice Girls to Bob Marley, and Ash Grunwald to Basement Jaxx. Now Ruby's Grace is playing, but they have broken up so I don't have a link for them. I love listening to my iPod on shuffle, you get to listen to all those songs you never think to listen to. Songs that you know, and have loved, but aren't always remembered. Or songs that you can bop along to that you forgot you had at all, or didn't think you had. They're the fun ones to here. Often so random. Actually, last time I listened to my iPod on shuffle the order of three songs that I remembered because they were so strange were:

1. Wannabe - Spice Girls
2. Rhapsody in Blue - Larry Adler (written by Gerwhin)
3. Naked and Famous - President of the United States of America

I thought it was fun!

weekends and confessions...

Well, not really confessions, but it sounds impressive..

I went to my dad's this weekend. And I am angry with him. I could handle it when he said he wasn't going to be at my 18th, he hasn't really been at any of my birthday parties since I was six and our family was actually still together. But last night he told me he wouldn't be at my graduation. Sure it doesn't seem like much, but my pissed off-edness has been boiling and this has just pushed me too far. Sure, I might seem like a melodramatic young girl, but it means something to me, so I think I have the right to vent - vent, vent, vent. Grr.. I don't really feel like having another bitch session about my father here, let's just say I am actually angry, rather than pissed off, and leave it at that.

That's all I wanted to write, nothing else to say. I should be doing homework instead of writing, so I should go do homework - hopefully it will get my mind off my anger..

the draft...

This is a bit of my draft for my English SAC - no one steal it!

As she sits she stares. Stares at the world. Stares in wonder. Stares at nothing but life. All around her is life. The buzzing of the bees and the growth of flowers. The sun shining down on the world. Each element works in harmony to create an oasis, a sanctuary. It is peaceful here. All she can hear are the birds in the trees and water in the river. All she can see is nature. There are no visible manmade objects. She is secluded.

As she sits she stares. Stares at the world. Stares in wonder. Stares at nothing but life. All around her is life. The honking of horns and the clatter of trams down the street. The sun shining down on the world. Each element competing for priority and creating chaos. There is no peace here. She can always hear cars or trucks. Occasionally a bird might tweet but manmade objects drown out the bird’s song. She is in the hustle and bustle of a city. She is in a metropolis.

Two experiences. Two locations. The world allows for both to exist, often simultaneously. Contrasts allow for new experiences. Contrasts help us to understand. The beauty of nature and the cement city may seem like two sides of a coin but they both exist in one world. In one life. For one person.

If anyone reading this has an opinion on it please tell me. I really want some feedback!

media on my mind...

This week is magazine week - Monday I worked on my media assignment for 5 hours, yesterday was 4.5 hours, today will be similar, tomorrow I have the whole day at school to do it (it is a pupil free day) and Friday I will have only 1.5 hours. Hopefully this thing gets completed on time...

I have an English Creative SAC next week - and no ideas about what to write. Well, that isn't quite true, just no ideas that I really like or think I could make into good pieces of work. I had an idea of doing a really descriptive piece, then do something about contrasts (between locations or stories), then I thought about putting these together. My latest idea was to write a piece focussing on two people in two different locations noticing what is around them - one in the country being 'free', and one in a traffic jam in the middle of a city feeling very 'un-free'. The two locations would alternate between paragraphs - one paragraph in the country, one in the city, one in the country, and so on and so forth. I'm not sure if I will follow this idea through or not. I kind of like it, but I'm not sure if I can make it descriptive enough, it may just end up being boring and not achieving anything I want it to - grr... I always hate creative pieces because I am not good at them, and I can't decide on one thing and follow it the way I imagined, like I do in report style essays. I did have the start of the piece though:

As she sits, she stares. Stares at the world. Stares in wonder. Stares at nothing but life.

That is all I have and I have to write it next Wednesday or Friday - I should really try harder in English, and leave my magazine alone for a while... School...

fifty and counting...

This is my 50th post! Oh yeah...

Big weekend, now I am tired. I went to two Eighteenths (one of which I got tipsy for the first time at) and had lunch with some friends. I actually managed to catch up with all my good friends in one weekend - I think the last time I achieved that was my birthday when they were all invited. Amanda's (on Friday night) was the party at which I got tipsy for the first time. It was all lovely until about 11:15pm when Ben realised that in 45mins his dad would be their to pick him up - and Ben was drunk!! He had drunk nearly a whole bottle of Vodka and two Red Eyes, so he wasn't quite with it. James (the other least drunk, but more drunk than me) and I looked after him and attempted to get him to calm down. He didn't and he got busted. I was telling people at school today how I had got tipsy for the first time on Friday and they laughed at me because I was treating it like a big achievement - well, it is for little 17 year old me! And my mum was teasing me about it! I kept denying that I was tipsy, because I didn't feel all that different, but she insisted that I was and that I should make sure I take some panadol and drink some water before I went to bed. At least I didn't throw up like some of the other guests...

negative and postive...

I developed my first films today! Actually, it was lots of fun and I am quite proud of myself - I did it on my own (after being run through the procedure). I freaked out a little bit on the second one when I could get the film onto the reel while in the bag-thing, but it sorted itself out! I must say, I think I need a better timing device for next time. I had no idea what the times were, and I was using my watch for a minute timer which wasn't really working. When I print some of the photos I will scan them and put them either here if I'm not 100% fond of them, or on my website if I love them. How exciting!!

the moment...

At the moment I am preparing for a Creative Writing SAC for English. I'm not very confident in my creative writing skills so this has been quite daunting. I think I have come up with an idea for my piece, though I'm not sure how successful I will be at making it what I want it to be. My idea is to write a piece about a woman sitting under a tree in the middle of no where and just noticing what is around her, discussing what is going on in her head and what her mind is pondering. The only problem with this is that I have never been a very descriptive writer, but I suppose that makes it a challenge. I wanted to set it in a beautiful and lush forest somewhere in spring, but I am worried that the setting is too "old", too "already done"... I might just try it anyway.

Today while I was baking biscuits (I got home from school an hour earlier than usual so I figured I would make something for my family) I noticed the tap dripping. The first thing I noticed was the light flare that was created when the drip formed and the sun light from the window hit it. I grabbed my camera and started taking photos. But the light flare just wouldn't be captured - it was elusive! What I did get, though, was the drip:

I thought it was cool..

philosophy and magazines...

I have been watching (and watched, now that it is finished) the mini-series Sophie's World on SBS. And I adore it!! I have had to tape each weeks because I have been out, and then when I watch them I refuse to let anyone interrupt me because I have to read the subtitles. I love getting lost in the sounds of the characters speaking Norwegian. And the very classic (and much repeated by Johanna and I):

Hilde Moller Knag (with a line through the 'o', but I don't know how to do that)

Jo and I were repeating it over and over today, annoying Hannah absolutely and completely in the process!! Sophie's World was very well done. However, I haven't read the book so I don't know if it stays true to the original. But I did love it. I loved the fact that I knew some of the philosophers and what they thought as soon as I heard their name (thanks to studying philosophy at school for two years). About Plato and Socrates, Kierkegard (unknown spelling) and Copernicus. It was a great series!

And my magazine is slowly getting there. Slowly... I have just done another 'photo shoot' for it - the cover of the second issue. Another cover with Sarah featuring. She is a good model, I have no idea what I am doing and she is good about it and seems to have fun. Now I am off to find and source some more images that I will be needing for some of the articles. Let's hope I can find what I have in mind!

school is boring...

Yes, school is boring. But oh well. At least something interesting is happening today. The Minister for Education is coming to school and I am getting out of IPM to take photos of her while she is here. There is some official reason why she is visiting this region, but I don't actually know what it is. All I know is she is coming to play for the Sweethearts and that my photos may eventually end up in the school newsletter and the school annual magazine at the end of the year - I mean, I am the official assistant photographer for the magazine, and lots of my photos have already been layed out ready for printing!!

That was so exciting yesterday seeing my photos layed out for the magazine. The teacher in charge came to show me the pages and to check some of the people who appear in the photos so they can have their name in the magazine! The layout looks really cool. There is a background image and some smaller images sitting on top that are framed like a polaroid - I was excited..

Another exciting thing, for me at least, is I am currently invited to the most party's ever at once. Did that make sense? At the moment I am invited to three party's, never before has this happened. I have been invited to two at once, which was three weeks ago, but never any more. I have my cousin's on Saturday night of this weekend, Amanda's on Friday night of next weekend and Erin's the day after Amanda's (on Saturday). They are all night party's too, which I suppose is what one would expect for a 20th and two 18ths. Now all I have to do is find presents. Three of us are giving Erin one particular present (which I won't write here, not that Erin will read it, but you know), and there was talk about me and another two people joining our funds to get Amanda something cool, but currently we have no real idea what to get. I know what I will get Amanda if I get something smaller, but I have no idea for big presents.. And Georgia (cousin) will get something from the family, so mum has to buy that.

And do you what? The rest of my life is boring school, so because I don't have anything left to say except to waffle on about school, I now plan to scoot - buh-bye!!

ending and beginning...

As the lovely school holidays end, the horrid school term begins. Homework, SACs, teachers.. Oh joy of joys! But I did have a lovely holiday. Friends and sleep overs, and pajamas! Took photos and got my learners - all peaches and cream. I really have nothing to write about here. Nothing interesting goes on. My life is simple and boring. Uninteresting. I do homework, I go to school, I have my dinner made for me and my clothes washed. I don't have to worry about much stuff. Urgh, I'm boring... I will shut up now..

driving and birthdays...

I went for my first semi-proper drive today. I got to reverse around corners, navigate around trees, change from asphalt to gravel roads and use the accelarator! It was so much fun. At the moment I officially love driving, but as yet I haven't had to deal with pedestrians or proper road rules, just controlling the car. I hope I still like driving when it is proper driving!

And birthdays. July marks the third birthday of my website, jemmyB, my cousin turns 20, Amanda turns 18, Hannah's mum has a birthday and my dad has one too. So many things to celebrate! And presents to buy - I wonder what I will get them all? Oh well, here's to you all, and my little website, I hope your birthdays are merry!

personality tests...

Main Type	Overall Self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Enneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||| 66% Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||| 58% Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||||| 54% Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 42% Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||||| 62% Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||||| 70% Type 7 Adventurousness |||||| 22% Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||| 38% Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||| 58% Your main type is 6 Your variant is social

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

I agree with the first bit, but the second one says I am a perfectionist. I am for school work, but not really for anything else. But maybe this is the real me, and the one I think I am is just what I want to be, not who I am? Maybe I will never know who I am. Maybe we can only ever think we know ourselves. And others can only know parts of you, never all of you. Or maybe I am completely wrong, because I am only a 17 year old student who doesn't have much life experience... Maybe.

fun of parents...

So I don't edit or censor my life, I should really write about my night at my dad's. Not in too much detail because I have already gone through it all with my mum (it's not that bad, I just don't particularly like talking about it). I was at my dad's last night. Sarah and I had to stay the night, the necessary visit because our parents are divorced. It was only one night, instead of two like it used to be, but that doesn't make it any more enjoyable. We don't have to put up with the step-mother for as long, but we still have to put up with her for a bit. We had takeway, which we never have, and chatted about boring things like school and their work. And the usual topic of money, because I think it is my dad's most favourite topic ever!! He brings it up all the time, all the time! If we have new clothes, he brings it up. If we comment that we would like a car to learn to drive in, he quizzes us for about half an hour on the money aspect. If we vaguely mention a holiday, money is brought up - not what we might do when we go away, but how much things might cost. And if we comment about mum buying something there is the comment about how he pays mum child support so lots of what we have is from him (even though the child support pays for diddley-squat). Money, money, money. It drives me bonkers!

Then there is the necessary "look at me" from the step-mother. No matter what we are talking about, even if we are talking to our dad, she has to have her two cents worth. Even if it doesn't quite make sense, like today. She can't just leave us alone. She doesn't appear to care enough to stay in the conversation the whole time, yet she doesn't not care enough to keep out of it. It is like having a faint image of a different channel on the tv, it is annoying! It is always there, even though it is not quite there. It just gets in the way of what you really want to do. Just get seen, even though we don't really want to see it. You know...

And the lovely thing about today, was that my dad wants me to plan my birthday party (which is in October, three and a bit months away to be exact) now. He has been going on about it for about two months, and until today I hadn't worked out why. They reason he wants to know what is going on is because the step-mothers birthday is the day after mine, so they are meant to go and visit her. Even though I am 18. He probably won't turn up, hasn't turned up to any of my birthday party's since I was six. There is no way I will be planning my birthday this far in advance. I would love him to come, but... I don't know... Maybe I don't want him to come because no one in my family likes him. He is mean, most of the time. Simply mean. Maybe I can just try and get a decent present out of him for my 18th - shallow I know. But that is the only thing I can really get from him, though he doesn't have a good track record where presents are concerned. Every year he has fucked it up. Giving us a combined present of his old (and very outdated, and basically unusable) laptop one year. Getting us to shopping with him to choose what we want, then getting it wrong. Actually, that was a funny birthday present. I asked for silver and amethyst jewellery, perfume or a gift voucher for a book store. Sarah asked for simple gold jewellery and a gift voucher for a CD store. I got a gift voucher for a CD store and something not worth remembering, and Sarah got gold and amethyst earrings, perfume (which was yuk!) and a gift voucher for a book shop. We ended up swapping the gift vouchers, and never using the other things. Gosh there are so many more stories like that... How about the one where a friend of mine's dad (who lives in Texas, USA) has been to four of our netball games, and my dad (who lives one hour away) has been to one. Yep, that is one of the best!

Enough of me bad mouthing my father. Tomorrow I go off to visit my auntie and and uncle and help with their magazine. We are going on a fashion photo shoot, and I am getting a crash course in commercial magazine creation, which should help heaps for my media assignment - lots of fun to look forward to. Off to the bus at 10:55am tomorrow, yay!

a new driver...

I am a new driver! Yes, I passed my Learner's test with 88%. And now I have a little green Learners Permit card sitting in my wallet. Very awesome! It is funny when you get a new card for your wallet, or exciting might be a better word for me at least. It changed what my wallet looked like completely because I moved all my cards around, now I have my permit, then my debit card, then my school id card - green, aqua, white. Instead of white, aqua, white. I used to have my school id, then my debit card, then a special card for a camera printer to get free prints each month. Which, by the way, finished next month. My last month of free photos next week. And I have only just got up the guts to ask if they colour balance the images (which they do) and if they could please not. I will get them back soon for June soon, then we can see if the colours are right! Looking forward to that!

op shopping...

Holidays are going strong - and are heaps of fun! Yesterday I took my sister to see The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. It was incredibly sad in some bits. That sooky sad, when good things come out of bad things so you get teary both times and then the tears feel silly because it is a childrens movie - that sort of teary. I wanted to go to it because I read the book when it came out and thought it could be a pretty interesting movie - and my sister wanted to see it. I liked the way each friend was going through their own stuff. One hit home - Carmen. Her mum and dad are divorced and when she goes to stay with her dad for the summer she is suprised to find out that he is engaged to be married to the "perfect" blonde family - blonde mum, daughter and son, perfect house in the suburbs, perfect wedding plans. Basically it is set up as a contrast because Carmen is Puerto Rican. And...voluptuous where the 'new' family are sticks with no bums. The cinema was filled with teenage girls except for about 2 mothers and 3 guys. And nearly everyone walked out with red eyes. Throughout the movie you could here lots of sniffling. There was one girl sitting in front of us who just started crying. A nice sooky film with a happy ending!

Tomorrow is my L's test. I might get my Learner Driver Permit. I haven't finished reading the book yet. And I can't remember half of it yet, but I am working on it. Hopefully all will go well and I will get my L's tomorrow. I don't know anyone who hasn't passed there Learners test on the first try - fingers crossed!

party princess...

Birthday party stories:

Last night was Hannah's 18th birthday party. I would say there were about 30 people there, but at different times in the night. There was the school friends, the choir friends, the High boys, and the family. The youngest was 14 and the oldest was 24-ish (excluding the mum). I think everyone had fun, I know I did. Except for the lovely little falling incident.

Meaghan, Megan and I decided to get some awesome presents for her - 19 in all. And they were all wrapped in tissue paper with lots of glitter and confetti. We even warned Hannah to open the presents outside, which she did - and I think her mum was extra happy that Han took our advice, because there was glitter everywhere. One of the presents we gave her, which was thought was particularly witty, was a gnome. Hannah had said at various times when we asked her what she wanted for her birthday that she wanted a boyfriend, jokingly, but she still said it. So we bought her the gnome. When she opened it, we helped name it. The gnome ended up with the name of the guy she likes. Then when she was on to the last present, the card, she had a nice little pile of glitter in the envelope. I leant over onto two legs of the chair I was sitting on to flick the glitter up and cover her (just as we all had been doing to each other) and I lost my balance. I fell! Smack down onto the cement in her backyard. I didn't think I had hurt anything, even myself (which is not the case today) but that wasn't to be. When I stood up, and after everyone, kindly, and asked if I was ok we look to the ground. And there in many pieces was the gnome. The new 'boyfriend' had been smashed by me... I felt so aweful! She had only owned the poor thing for about 10 minutes, and I crushed him. We all laughed about it hysterically all night, but that didn't change the fact the I had broken the poor little thing. I have decided that I am going to get another gnome for Hannah, and I am going to make it a bit cool. If you have seen Amelie you will notice that I have stolen the idea. I am going to take photos of the new gnome in front of different backdrops and in different locations and send them to Hannah. Then he will come home - aftre visiting a few destinations and being on a little holiday, Hannah's new 'boyfriend' will come home!

During the night two slabs where finished. By 5 people. I'm not very experienced with parties, but that is the most that has been drunk at one that I have been to. Mind you, I am only 17 and haven't been to many parties where the drinkers weren't that parents, and the drink of choice was red wine - one bottle in a whole night. By the end some of them became quite silly, telling jokes that weren't particularly tasteful and giving people (me) hugs that probably weren't all that necessary. The hug was from Hannah's cousin who is my step-brothers mate, and I have known him for about three years. It was really quite interesting. I got a huge hug and a little monologue about how though we had to part, we would be in each others heart's forever. Then he realised that there were still cans of beer to be drunk and disappeared off to the esky.

At one point the party even had a guest with four wheels - a supermarket trolley. When the guys went off to by the slabs they brought back a trolley. Trolley rides started taking place up and down the backyard until being away from the little fire was too cold, then the trolley was just a chair.

The last funny story is evidence of just how small the town I live in is. Hannah invited three boys from her Physics class. One of them couldn't come, I later found out, so they had brought another friend of theirs to make up the three. When the boys arrived I was standing with some friends from school chatting and I here this "Hi Jemima" come from behind me. I turned around and in the dark I couldn't make out who it was. He yelled out his name, which I won't write here. I had gone to primary school with him. I have known him since I was five years old. Was in his class in grade four and six (and I think grade five as well, but I can't quite remember). I couldn't believe it was him. He looks just like he did in primary school, still. I have bumped into him a few times around school, because he walks past my school to get to his. I couldn't believe that I was at a party that he happened to rock up to without knowing the 'party princess'/birthday girl. He was just a friend of the Physics boys. I suppose it is a regular occurence if you go to parties a bit, but I don't. The only parties I go to are my friends and most of there friends are from school or music things and I have met most of them. It was strange to me, even though everyone I have told hasn't thought of it as so strange...

The party was good, lots of laughing. Home late, slept in this morning then cleaned up my room all day - gosh it needed it! I didn't realise how dreaful it was, my cupboards where full of handbags and toys that I forgot I had, or have never used - so they are all now gone! And now, I have a roast in the oven and Jack Johnson's new CD playing - I'm in a great mood!

very philosophical...

I new blog to read, and you must!

Answers? Not now...

An example:
"Can we just enjoy the graphics and pictures in a movie and forget about the story? "

over it...

Today is the last day of term two. The last day of semester one. The last day of the third last term of high school. The last day of a high school term two. And I'm so very over it. Time for the holidays.

I got over the boredom of Wednesday. And I booked myself in, finally, for my L's test - next Thrusday at 11:10am. I am kind of looking forward to it because I will have made some friends happy. That may not be the best reason to do something, but I am 18 this year, and my friends have been picking on me for months because I could have got my L's when I turned 16. Nearly two years late according to some of them. But hopefully, as of next Thursday I will be allowed to drive. However, at the moment I don't even know which pedal is the clutch, which the accelarator and which is the brake. And I have to learn a manual. Well, I don't have to learn a manual, but I want to because it means I can drive both a manual and an auto. And you know what, that makes sense! The next hurdle is to get a car. My mum and step-dad drive auto's so I have to find someone with a manual that I "borrow" to learn to drive in. Maybe I will get my dad to teach me, he has a manual. I did want my mum to teach me though - at least the basics. Then I have to get proper lessons.. Lots of fun! I hope...

Ooh, party time on Sunday night. Hannah's 18th birthday party! I am getting my mum to make me some new trousers for the event - let's all hope the pants turn out alright otherwise I will be stuck in my borrowing old jeans. And I am so incredibly sick of my jeans. I have been sick of a lot of my clothes lately - they are all very similar and boring. I wear jeans and a top, never 'trousers', never skirts (besides the fact I don't think I look any good in skirts, I prefer pants) and never any interesting tops. So that is my quest for when I leave school - start wearing interesting clothes. Like my mum - her clothes are more interesting than mine. She makes really cool jackets and skirts (now that she has found some long boots that she loves!). And puts groovy imaging and decorations on tops that make her look very cool. But she has to live up to being an fasion teacher - so I suppose she really has to look kind of cool. No, I think she just has cool taste. And she is a cool person too. A girl the other day in one of her classes asked if she could have my mum as her mum. She's mine! Hmph! And she's my sisters too, let's not forget...

One of the teachers who has been at my school for ages retires today. Well, today is his last day. Megan and I have to write an article about him and his ties for the school magazine. He has this HUGE collection of ties. He has been wearing one everyday this term and last term, I think. And Friday is Bow Tie day. I gave him a little question form to fill out with his answers that will me made into an article about him. Hopefully he has completed it and I can get it from him this morning. That is about the only thing I have to do in my spare periods this morning. Normally I have a huge list, but this morning, as it is the last day of term, everything seems to have pretty much wrapped itself up for the time being.

Last day of term.. Lovely!

days off...

While I love days off, sometimes they get so boring. Particularly when I don't have something interesting to do. I spent today playing computer games and watching TV, just a little bit boring. I know some people say that only boring people get bored, so maybe I'm boring.

Though what I did do was update my website. Five new photographs. Three more the other day. And with the holidays coming up hopefully there will be lots more photos.

And hopefully I will find something to do... God I'm bored...

changes...

Yesterday I was at a friends birthday party and one of their close family friends arrived. I have met her many times because I have been to many of this family's get togethers, so I know her. What I didn't know is that she has cancer. Last time I saw her she didn't, and this time she did. So much had changed. She looked fine, except she had shaved her hair short - otherwise she looked completely fine. I only properly realised what was going on when they started talking about chemo... I felt out of the loop. They were very considerate, didn't make a fuss. And I realised that in, maybe, five months (the last time I saw her) how so much could change. And for me, in five months I will have graduated from high school and be looking to the future. And five months after that I will be starting tertiary education (fingers crossed) and life will be completely different. So completely different.

"Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced."
-- James Arthur Baldwin

grumpy and sick...

I hate being sick, and I am so I am grumpy. Being grumpy means this will be a very short post.

I have finished my Media Design Plan and am handing it in today - I love the final product and am very proud of it.


See, short...

sleep is what I need...

I just got back from school camp. By "just" I mean three hours ago. It was a pretty good camp. I ended up going to four University's but only two of them interest me and the one that really interests me (RMIT) had a shitty tour and presentation. But that is ok, a friend of mine is going to take me on a tour around the campus on Open Day.

Actually, some quite funny and fun things happened at camp. I shall make a list (in no realy order):

1. Megan was on crutches so couldn't walk around. This meant she was driven, which meant the teachers wanted her to have company which meant that Meaghan and I got to keep Megan company and that meant we got driven everywhere. Some of the other students weren't all that happy, but I did promise Megan's mother than I would look after her!

2. We nearly went past my dad's house

3. Megan, Meaghan and I talked about some incredibly strange things including: hairy legs, what colour underwear we had on, and who wasn't wearing a bra who should. These happened when we were extremely tired from a long day of listening to boring people talke - or at least that is my excuse!

4. Background: part of the camp was a movie and dinner last night. Meaghan, Megan and I were meant to be seeing Hitchhiker's but because of the whole car arrangement we had to go with Ms Backwell. This meant we went to the Nova and saw a movie called We Don't Live Here Anymore. Now, this movie is rated MA, and for good reason. There is sex, swearing, nudity and lots of adult themes. How do you think Ms Backwell felt taking in a group of 17/young 18 year old girls (including one of the prudish year 12s) to a movie based on a short story called Adultery? When Ms Backwell was driving Megan, Meaghan and I home she said "Now girls, you must promise me that you will all send me food baskets because I don't think I will have a job when school goes back on Wednesday". We laughed, but it is actually quite serious. None of the parents knew that their kids were going to see an MA movie. Although, we did have some say in the movie we saw, not much, but some.

5. Before the movie, Megan, Meaghan and I bought way too much food - chocolate!

6. I slept on the floor. This was because I really hate top bunks and that was all that was left when I got to the room, and plus the floor looked nicer than the bed.

7. I had to participate in a laughter session. Some reverand guy came and made us do all these fake laughing exercises. For me, it was just a little fake...

8. After going to Melb Uni today, we had free time. After free time we had to get back to the buses. Some people got lost. Now, I know it isn't really funny, but it was semi-funny because it wasn't happening to me...

They are pretty much the funny/fun things that happened.

Not a bad camp...

Tomorrow I have several things on my list of "to dos": have lunch out with my mum, aunty, cousin, uncle and other aunty (birthday celebration); get those photos of Rob and Peris out; and do some more Media. Ooh, and this weekend is an extra long weekend: four days off! The weekend, Queen's Birthday (I think) and a pupil free day! Then on Wednesday my Media is due in and it is Nicole's birthday. Then Thursday is my mum and aunty's birthday (twins) and Friday is Hannah's. Lots of birthday fun!! And the week after is the last week of term!! Holidays - woot! I have to catch up with so many people: Jasmine, Abby, Moo, James (maybe meet his new girlfriend), Kate, Jess... The list goes on...

But will I become a social butterfly - nup!

black and white...

I got the proofs of the role of film I used last weekend. Some of them are actually good, if I do say so myself. I have to print some 6x4s at school at some point, then I will scan them in to display on the web. I will have to form a new friendship with my scanner that I have never had. I don't particularly like it much, it is old and clunky. But, as Donna has told me time and time again, it is not necessarily the equipment you have, but how you use it. So I am going to try.

Last night was so very exciting. I don't think I posted about it. After the Apollo Bay Music Festival I contacted Rob Sawyer (local performer) and gave him some images that I took of him. I kept in semi-contact and asked if I could shoot him last night while he was playing another gig, he said yes. So I rocked up last night to Torquay, nervous as hell. I stood at the back of the croud for a bit unitl I spotted Rob wandering towards the entrane. I went over and introduced myself - he actually remembered me emailing him. He said it would be great if I took some photos and said I should have a chat to another band thePeriscopes who was playing because they needed some press photos. I was too chicked last night to talk to them about (even though all of the guys in the band are younger than me) so I will have to catch up with them another time...perhaps. Anyway, Rob said it would be great for me to take pics. So, I waited until he was on (he was last, thePeriscopes were before him, so I took some photos of them too) and took some pics. He worked out where I was in the crowd and kept grinning at me taking pics - he made me blush! Oh well... I got seom great shots (I think) and I got some more practice with manual exposure and manual focus ( and I normally hate the manual focus on my camera, but I think I will have to start using it to get the focus I want). It was lots of fun. I may post just one of the best pics here... maybe...

wintery warmth...

Winter started yesterday in the southern hemisphere (where I am) and it is cold. I has been cold for the past little while, but now it is officially winter coldness, not autumn coldness. I have take to sleeping with my electric blanket turned on all night because of how cold my house gets. I don't know if it is a good thing to do, but I have to or I don't sleep with cold! Wintery warmth is that best type of warmth. I love the feeling of getting home after school, putting some comfy clothes on and turning the heating on, and slowly the house gets warm...after being so cold, you are warm - lovely!!

The other thing I love about winter (other than it simply being the best season) is that I get to wear scarves! Over the past two years, since I learnt to knit, I have made a few scraves, and bought some too. I have lots of beautiful warm scarves to choose from, and I have nearly finished another. It is awesome! I may have to put some pictures up, because I love it! It is made with awesome green and browny-coloured wool, 100% pure wool! It is beautiful! I shall post it!

strange dreams...

I don't often dream, but when I do they are either lovely, exciting, or down-right strange. Last night's was strange:

I was at school just outside the library. I was looking into the library, looking for someone. I saw this electroic shcok thing pass between a record player and a computer and everything around these two objects blew up. I ran inside to see if everyone was ok, and they were just sitting around, cleaning up the rubble and chatting, like nothing had happened. I asked them about it and they said that yes there had been some time of explosion, but that it had happened about an hour ago. This confused me, but that was ok. Then I walked outside (it was lunch time) and was chatting to some friends when I looked down at my watch and saw that the second hand was spinning around the face - just spinning. I showed a teacher and asked what she thought, but she didn't say anything. Then these little sparks of lightening or electricity started going off in the sky, just randomly. It got really dark, and everyone got a little worried. Lots and lots of shooting stars were going all over the sky. Then it became light again, and everything was back to normal - even my watch. I figured it was just some freak thing, so I started off to class. As I was walking to class I noticed that something wasn't quite right, I couldn't work out what was wrong, but there was something. When I got the Brownbill (the building that is part of the school) the outside stairs weren't connected to the building, so I couldn't get in that way. I went around the building and inside to the internal stairs. I went up them and noticed that the colour of the paint on the walls was different, not completely different just a different shade of yellow. I went to class and we just did work. I got really bored, so I started hoping things in the room would change, like the words on the board or the colour of the whiteboard marker. And they did. I got slightly freaked-out, so I left the classroom and walked down the corridor. There was a mature-aged class (which there never is at my school) in one of the classrooms and they were giving a teacher I liked shit, so I did something, I can't remember what. Then I walked into another classroom and made a bowl of fruit salad pink and blue. But the fruit didn't properly change colour, the colour sort of floated over the shapes of the fruit, and swirled together. When I walked out the classroom, the end of the corridor was now a brick wall so I couldn't get out. One of the teachers I don't like walked past me and her face was all old and mangled - but I knew it was her. Then I walked over to the brick wall and tried pushing it out of the way - and it moved. Once it was out of the way, things started to go back to normal. The colours of the walls changed back to normal, the fruit salad became normal, and I couldn't make things change. And I woke up feeling scared... Strange!

The last time I had a dream like that I was in the top room of a really big building with lots of windows and lots of people. We were looking out over the city we were in, and the sky had changed to this electric whirl-pool of colour, and it was attacking us, or something...

When I told my step-dad about last night's dream, he decided that I had dreamt that way because I ate carrot cake, watched Dr Who and read The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy before bed. Strange...

film slump...

What is happening to the world? Film giant AGFA has filed for bankruptcy:

"AgfaPhoto, the former consumer imaging division of Belgian group Agfa-Gevaert, says it has filed for bankruptcy protection.
... with the boom in digital photography, sales of traditional photographic film and paper have slumped." ~ The Age, 30 May 2005

This meant that I couldn't get my photos developed yesterday because the shop I normally go to has decided to stop processing film!

Hmm... I have been in a strange mood lately, and moody too. I have come to the conclusion that it is because I don't do anything. I haven't had much homework lately, but I still managed to not do anything else. Sunday night and last night I spent the evening curled up in bed watching television and knitting. Sure I like doing that, but I think the lack of fun I have been having lately is playing with my brain. I have decided I have to do something this weekend, but with exams next week I'm not sure who else will be up for it. I don't want to do anything huge. Just a movie and lunch, or maybe even a groovy little picnic in a park - though the weekend is meant to be really cold and perhaps wet... I just want to do something! And with all the spare days I having coming up where I will spend most of my time on my computer working on my big Media assignment, this would be the perfect weekend to just do something!

Here's to getting out of the house!!

cameras and more cameras...

Now, I have posted previously about my dream Uni course and my worries about getting in without much film experience. So I decided to do something about it. I have been asking everyone I know with skill in film photography if they can help me. I now have my media teacher helping me with the school equipment (cameras, film, developing), my step-dad's dad's camera (is that my step-grandad?) which is a Canon T70 (I think) and an SLR, and my dad's Fujica SLR. I have four lenses, and some filters to play with. I am all fired up about getting used to them - and I think I like my dad's the best! It has a really nice light-metering system - easy to read!

I actually used a role of black and white film that was expired in 1988 yesterday. I had the settings wrong (the film was 400 ASA and I had the camera set to 1600 ASA) but I don't know how they will affect the result. My stepdad is getting a proof sheet done today for me, I think. I am very excited to see my first real role of film. Well, technically it is my third, I did one in year 8, and one on a medium format camera, so I should say that the role I took yesterday is my second 35mm role of film. Hopefully they aren't too bad, but without much experience with film and not knowing how the ASA will affect the pics, I'm a little worried... Oh well, we shall find out soon. I might even scan some into the computer so I have digital versions for web use... I have to get them back first, though.

In other year 12 school-girl news, I just got 50/50 on my last International Studies SAC for Unit 3. That means I got 98% for the Unit. I am most definitely happy! I didn't think I would do so well, but I tried really hard and wrote 10 pages - the longest essay I have ever written. Hm, I'm proud!

I am excited - my sister is about to start her first lot of exams. Year 11 exams! I don't know if she is nervous or not, I know I was when I first did mine, but then again Sarah doesn't seem to get nervous much. She has six exams starting this week. She's growing up!! Becoming a big girl... Ok, that sounds pathetic... Oh well... I am very proud of her! Hmph!

relief...

It went well!! I couldn't believe how smoothly Sunday lunch went. The meat was cooked, the vegies weren't all crunchy and raw, and the pudding tasted great! Mind you, the pudding was a little bit cold, but oh well. The one hitch was that while eating the delicious meat, my dad broke one of his teeth. It was hilarious. We though he had crunched on a bone from the meat or something, but when he pulled it out from his mouth..there was a tooth! I didn't hurt, or so I was told, but I did feel pretty bad about it. Conversation was good, nothing too strange so nanny could be involved in the conversations. Sarah and I were able to show off our various art forms (photography and audio technician-ry). We both got sufficiently lovely responses of "Oh" and "Lovely"! Then when it got to about 3:30pm and dad and nanny headed home, Sarah and I had a mini party in the kitchen while washing the dishes. Not too bad!!

What a relief...

I will post about my lovely cameras in a bit.. I have to go to class.

sunday lunch...

This Sunday my dad and nanny are coming to our house for lunch. Being only 17 I have been fretting about making a decent lunch for them. I don't want to burn it, I don't want it to be raw, I don't want it to taste bad. I want it to be perfect. Sarah and I are cooking. We only decided this morning what we are actually cooking. Being driven to school we had ideas being thrown at us by mum, and we batted most of them away. We came to the decision that we will cook a roast. Roast beef. Roast vegetables: potato, onion, pumpkin, carrot. Then some peas and cauliflower. Hopefully, we will be able to make some gravy too - here's hoping!! Then we have to make dessert. I made an awesome carrot cake last week so that was the first idea. But Sarah wanted chocolate cake. So we decided to make a chocolate self-saucing pudding (my dad's absolute favourite!). But, because we always have chocolate self-saucing pudding with dad we decided to do something a little different - butterscotch self-saucing pudding.. with ice-cream and cream!! So indulgent!! Hopefully, my nan (who I see once or twice a year - she lives in a different state) will enjoy her lunch - fingers crossed!!

Next week the fun begins. Thursday is the end of Unit 3. I have Friday off. The next week I have Monday and Tuesday off, Wednesday is the GAT (General Achievement Test) and Thursday and Friday is a camp to Melbourne to check out Universities. Should be fun! I hope. After that I have the next Monday and Tuesday off. My big Media assignment is due the next day (the 15th) Then it is my mum's birthday, my aunties birthday (16th) and Hannah's birthday(17th). So some shopping needs to take place on the days off. I pretty much know what they will all be getting for their birthdays, but because they might read this, I won't write anything here. But the presents will/are awesome!! So very cool!

Yesterday I put some of my Uni worries to rest. I called the RMIT and talked to some people who seemed to know a little bit of what I wanted to know. My biggest concern was that I hadn't had much practice with film photography - I'm digital. One of the the guys made a point of telling me that Uni is a place to learn, so if you don't know something that is part of the course, you will probably learn when you get there. That made sense. And now I am not so worried. I think I will just plod along now, try and take some film photos (on an SLR camera) and see how that turns out. I also have to make sure that I keep checking out the other courses that could be good for me. I can't just stop at one, I might not get in!

Now, I must return a favour. My lovely cousin, Mae Friend, said everyone should check out my blog and my site, so I think everyone should check her blog too: One Two Tree. Enjoy it!

hopes and dreams...

I am being very melodramatic at the moment. I posted the other day about my dream Uni course - Bachelor of Arts (Photography). But now I am sad, and worried... And slightly panicky. If I was to get through to being shortlisted for the course, I would need a folio. So, of course, I went to the website to check out the Folio Preperation course. This is where I started getting worried. Just for the prep course you need to have negatives, transparencies and a 35mm camera. But I've never used film for photography before... Not seriously, at least. I have done the old happy snaps with my pink point and shoot camera, but never properly with a proper camera, and proper development myself... Eek... Now I'm worried that the course I want to get into will be closed to me because I haven't got the experience. I was telling some friends and they were very supportive about my little worry. The made a point of trying to come up with solutions - get a tutor for the rest of the year so you have experience, etc.. I just emailed the Uni.

Fingers crossed...

don't panic...

I should really follow the advice I give out to people: "Don't panic, everything will be fine". But I don't.

Every night this week and last week as people start talking more and more about next year I have these mini panic attacks. 'Next year' is that special first year out of high school. Into the big, bad world. I remember in year seven when I started high school that year twelve, finishing, seemed like a million years away. It was something I never really thought about. I love school, and was quite happy that finishing was a million years away. But now it's not. Now finishing is just around the corner. My last day of actual school is the 20th of October. That's it. After that high school is completed. Onto Uni and the world.. Out into the real world of bills, cars, houses..

I am are scared stiff. Monday I found my 'dream Uni course'. It as called Bachelor of Arts (Photography). I think I would love it. I was talking to my mum last night about life and whingeing that I didn't have any time to update my website or take photos. She told me to imagine what it will be like if I do a degree in photography - I won't have to do much else except for photography. That made me happy. But then I thought about the rest of it. I say I'm an independant person. I love being on my own. And I am often confident - when I'm not out of my comfort zone. Pull me out of what I know and I am timid as a mouse.. I don't talk, I don't interact.. I become boring. Most parties I go to I turn into this person. When it's a friends party it isn't so bad, but through in lots of people I don't really know and I will find a nice corner in the room and stay there. So next year frightens me.

It frightens me because I don't know what will happen. It frightens be because I can't be certain something will happen. It frightens me because I can't plan everything and be sure about everything. I may sound like a bit of a wuss, but I don't care. That's me! A wuss. I've never been on a rollercoaster, I've never been drunk, I've never been kissed. I'm just boring, timid me.

I hate uncertainties..

the galaxy and beyond...

"I'd make a suggestion, but you wouldn't listen. No one ever does."

Yesterday I ventured to the movies - alone! I love going alone, not quite sure why, I just do. I went to see Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, after many recommendations (and seeing that robot with the big head on tv, teehee!). There were four people in the cinema: me eating M&Ms, a guy who was about 40 eating popcorn at the very back and a 40-something year old couple sitting just in front of me laughing their heads off. I assume the couple in front of me were well versed in the book - the knew what was going on. I went there with no idea what was going on.. and came out knowing not much more. Some of the ideas in it are great fun - those dolphins and those mice! And some were nice and philosophical and some insanely ludicrous! I loved it.

Actually, what was really funny was when I got home was sister was watching some silly teen show and they were at Sea World hanging out with the dolphins! I laughed out loud and my sister thought I was nuts. The were doing spins and flips and waving their flippers about - great fun!

And I so want one of the Guides.. I want a book that says "Don't Panic" on the cover - how very laid back! Hmm..

I had dreams of being hit in this face if I thought and dreams of having a big white head and a depressed outlook...

"I think you ought to know I am feeling very depressed."

the bus...

The great thing about catching a public bus: the strange people who randomly decide to chat to you. Last night some 30 year old guy in a long black jacket, badly bleached hair and feminine voice eating god-knows-what overheard me attempting to tell Hannah about Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - poorly I might add. This poor attempt seems to be what caught this guys attention because he turned around to us and asked if we were talking about Hitchhikers's. After admitting that yes we were talking about that movie he decided to explain the 'real' concept and how when he was seven years younger than we are now (we are both 17) the book was made into a tv show which he loved, so, of course, he knew exactly what he was talking about. I don't know if what he said was correct, but it sounded interesting. He said the book was actually about a French-man who was guiding (hence Hitchhiker's Guide) someone and the "galaxy" he was guiding him around was a metaphor for religion. So the book was really about a man's realisation of life and religion. However he then went on to comment on the lateness of the bus and the fact that there was a couple kissing in front of us, and that 30 year olds really knew everything, or at least something about everything. It was interesting...

happiness..or stress...

Happiness can come in the most interesting and exciting forms. The most recent exposure to happiness I have encountered was when my mum got her new boots from overseas. She has been looking for "the right pair of boots" for about four years and she finally found them in America. She ordered them and was waiting for about a month to see what they would look like "in person" and how they would feel on her little size 7 1/2 feet. They arrived! She carefully opened the box, with much love and anticipation, to find two black leather boots. With zips up the side and heels not-too-high they looked perfect. She put them on.. We all stood around her (my step-dad, my sister and I) waiting to see how she reacted - another let down wouldn't be nice.. To all of our delight they were perfect! She ran around the house in glee, laughing like a little girl with her new pair of party shoes on! Mum ran and got a skirt, stripped in the lounge room (to my sister and I's horror) and put the skirt and boots on. She then stood in front of the full length mirror we have in our hallway for the next half hour, trying on different skirts and different pants, looking lovingly at how each piece of clothing was complimented perfectly by her beautiful new boots. Once my sister, step-dad and I had gone off to our respective rooms in the house to get to homework and other work, mum decided to give each of us a personal fashion show. She knocked excitedly on the door, thrust it open, danced in and said "Look!" She followed this exclamation with a little happy dance, then danced out of the room onto the next family member. She had even decided she would wear her new shoes to bed. Thankfully, she had had a long day at work so she finally gave us some peace when she fell asleep.

The next morning she came running down the stairs from her room saying "Look at what I'm wearing today!" She did another happy dance and stood in front of the mirror for another little while. So very deliriously happy was she!!

Then on the other hand, there is the lovely little piece of stress I was handed today.. We were told at the very start of the year that the documentation part of our huge media final would be due at the end of second term/first semester. Today, after the teacher realised the mistake she had made, she changed the due date from the end of term to the end of unit three - three weekds earlier. The uproar in the classroom was astounding! Some students haven't started, some had. Luckily, I wasn't as stressed as others because I have started to plan the piece a little bit - but not enough for it to be due in four weeks!

Eeek..

On top of that I have another media assignment due in one and a half weeks which today I realised was actually a whole lot more work than I expected it to be. I must admit, though, the reason that it is so much is all my fault. We had to choose two techniques or elements to print or photography that we needed a bit more practice on for the final at the end of the year. I decided to look at lighting/colour and typography/colour. I thought it would be really interesting to look at the effect the colour of the image and the font/colour or the text on the front of a magazine has on what the reader expects of the magazine. I have been writing my intention/proposal now for just under 3 hours, and it is nowhere near finished. Then I have to shoot it, and compile it all. Then right an evaluation.. And none of it is really meant to be done outside of class time..

Whinge, whinge, whinge.. I should really just get off the net and onto my work, hey?

issues...

What should one think of beggars?

chocolate and videos...

This weekend my mum went to Melbourne with some old Uni friends. My step-dad travelled to Melbourne each day with a wine-tour-owner-friend of his to taste wines. That left my sister and I alone in the house. I answer to an empty house - chocolate, diet coke, ice-cream, and videos! We walked to the video store to get "six weekly's for $10". We decided to go for comedies, though some weren't exactly the comedy we were after. I really don't get how some of the movies could be classed as comedy, the should have their own "black-comedy/drama" section. We hired Pieces of April, Sidewalks of New York, Le Divorce, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, High Fidelity and Reality Bites. Best: Pieces of April. Worst/most boring: Le Divorce followed by Sidewalks of New York. I love Reality Bites, and High Fidelity has some great bits. And, in tribute to High Fidelity:

Top 5 Best songs to listen to while doing homework:
1. Anything by New Buffalo
2. Angry Anymore - Ani Difranco
3. Silence - Xavier Rudd
4. Hille Le - Indian Ocean
5. Cactus that Found the Beat - Missy Higgins

Top 5 Worst Songs to listen to while doing homework:
1. Anything by Tripod (too much funny stuff to listen to)
2. Go to Work - Trojan Horns (I go to work.. ba dom ba dom ba ba dom ba dom ba bom)
3. Sweet Enough - Trojan Horns
4. Tapped and Wired - Ember Swift
5. Out West - Ash Grunwald

the fire...

The other night, I was going home with my step-dad and we saw this smoke over a hill. So I got my trusty camera and we went to the scene! Actually, we thought a school was on fire when we were driving towards it, but we found that they were just burning some grass off behind the school. Here are some of the pics I took:




In other news, I am burnt! I shot the Athetics Day at my school today and it was a beautiful day and I didn't put on any sunscreen.. All my fault off course. It is a very funny-looking burn actually. I had a thick necklace with a big round bit on it and the burn is around the shape - it look silly! And tomorrow is when I get to go to the music festival and be a photographer, so I might have some shots to show later! I am so completely and totally excited!! Yay!

photography, photography...

I am so excited! I get to do two full days of photography! I am taking the photos for my school magazine at our Athletics Carnival (not great subject matter, but lets see what I can do..). Then on Saturday I am going to a Music Festival as a media/photography person with my step-dad who is recording gigs for the radio program he does. I am supposed to be taking photos for the radio station - yay!! I am so incredibly excited! Hmm.. that is actually all I have to say except that I am excited that it is a long weekend.. Wish me luck!

the noisy bus...

After the first day back of term 2, we weren't really in the greatest mood. Jo and I were on the bus on the way home, chatting quietly in the back hoping that the terror would decide to hang around and leave us in some amount of peace. Unlucky for us, the terror decided the 3:45pm bus was perfect for her.. In fact, she even decided to sit right in front of us with her noisy friends. The swearing, slapping and yelling that ensued and the 'norm' for the terror. She has actually been complained about by the public.. We tried to just chat and block the terrors piercing voice from our heads, but to no avail. What a lovely thing it is to have peace and quiet.. After the bus ride home particularly.

I got home, put New Buffalo on and sat it mellow peace and quiet - lovely.. Then, lucky me, I got to sit for an hour and chat to three of my favourite people (on msn, but nonetheless) with my beautiful white cat (Jessica) curled up on my lap.

She is the most bizarre animal really - she thinks she is a human baby! She sleeps on my bed and sometimes on my pillow, and occasionally burrows her way under by doona. She likes to be held like a baby - with her head supported by the crook of your arm. And if someone comes to the house and doesn't say hello to her she gets mighty grumpy. Actually, she is really quite old. I think she is about 8 years old now, maybe nine. I remember choosing her from a friends litter - she was pure white but with a little black stripe down the middle of her head - ever so cute! Now, however the black stripe is gone. And all of our clothes are white! I haven't seen another cat malt as much as Jess does - you touch her and you get covered it fur. Really quite annoying when my favourite colour to wear is brown and my mothers is black - well, now it's black and white...

What a lovely evening I had..

page 123, the fifth sentence...

A new book meme is circulating and its rules are these (via Keri Smith):

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the coolest book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

"He is not a true monk who harms another nor a true renunciate who oppresses others." -- Venerable Buddharakkhita (Dhammapada: a practical guide to right living)

This is actually the fourth sentence, there are only four sentences on the page...

hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go...

Just this weekend then it is back to school for my third last term at high school. I should really be excited, and lots of people are, but I am more scared. I'm not a big one for the unknown. For about a week (last week actually) I though I knew what I wanted to do next year. Just one week of certainty...and now it is gone! I had decided on the course I wanted to do next year and it was set, I had something to focus on. For once I actually had something to tell people when they asked me what I wanted to do when I finished high school. Until I told a lecturer friend of mine... Then it all became unknown again... She told me that I should be doing the course I wanted to do somewhere else and I should add different things to the course and I should watch what I choose because the one I was thinking of could be boring... And now I am confused again... I had decided I was going to so a Bachelor of Art (Media and Communication) and add some Psychology and IT perhaps, then do a Bachelor of Education (fourth year) so I could teach at secondary schools in Psychology, Media and IT - my favourite subjects. But now I am not so sure... I have been told by some people to keep working on my photography so I should do a visual art course in photography/digital photography. Others have said that I would be a good teacher so going in that direction is good... Well, I suppose most peopl change their occupation five times on average in their life. But I still to do something next year. Whinge, whinge, whinge... The one good thing is that everyone I have talked to says that Uni is great and the study is fun because you have chosen it and it is something that interests you. I am looking forward to Uni...I just don't know what I am going to do when I get there...

sugar hit...

After an evil weekend at my dad's (with the step mother) I desperately needed a sugar hit. So, here I am eating little red gummi bears and watching trashy tv. However, the weekend wasn't all that bad. As a heat-hater, the walk down the street in 31 degree celcius heat wasn't nice, nor was walking around a market in the same heat today nice, when the tropics-like weather change hit I was loving it. Walking around the streets of artsy precinct St Kilda was lovely. I bought a couple of arty books (for inspiration of course!), some gorgeous handmade beads and a gorgeous handmade purse from cybertart. The purse is denim on the back and a picture with plastic covering it as the front. The pic is a digital illustration of a girl - it is so very awesome! And I also officially (not yet completely, but I'm sure I will get there) love St Kilda. The shops along the only street I went along were great! Gorgeous gift shops, and one awesome "hippy" shop. Oh, and I must say it, great cafes! That's it for my advertisement... Sugar!!

"Remind me to send him a red cap and a Speedo..."

In perfect holiday style I went to the movies. I saw the new Wes Anderson movie "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou", and to my delight found it completely delightful! It was ludicrous, funny and nutty. However, it was not as good as Anderson's previous flick "The Royal Tenebaums" (which I loved). What I was most excited about, though, was the trailer I saw before the movie (which is not to say that I wasn't excited about the movie, I was, I just found the trailer excited too). It was the trailer for a movie called "Sin City". I think the movie is based on a comic or something from a comic (not being a comic fan, I wouldn't know). But, lately I have been wondering why more modern movie makers forget that black and white films can be great. The use of light and dark in films like "Citizen Kane", "Psycho" and "The Third Man" are awesome. I always wondered why modern directors/cinematographers didn't 'embrace' the black and white medium - it would be such fun to play with! Then... I saw the trailer for "Sin City" and, lo and behold, a black and white movie. Given, it has been made in 'comic book' style and that is the reason for the (not complete, by the way) lack of colour, but I was still very excited! And it was completely done digitally. The whole movie was shot in a back lot in front of a green screen, and the backdrops were added post-production. I am muchly looking forward for this movie to be released (in Australia) and look forward to seeing it - yay for black and white movies!

I must also admit, in holiday style, and with absolutely no regret, that I, Jem, have been a vegetable for most of the holidays so far. I have been out at some point in the day on less than half of my holiday days. I, with absolute relaxation on the agenda, love the holidays! I was talking to my cousin, who has a personality pretty much the opposite of mine, about this use of holiday time. She was commenting how even when she has a free day from uni, if she doesn't go out and do something she gets very bored. But it is my nature to adore the 'alone' time. I love vegeing and have no apologise for doing nothing! While I do love being with people, I think I am introverted and thus too much time having to worry about awkward silences and being 'chirpy' really starts to piss me off and make me grumpy. So here's to the days when I am so totally allowed to do nothing - cause I can! Ha!

hot in autumn?

The weather lately has been odd. Being in the Southern Hemisphere, we are one month into Autumn. Now, in Autumn you expect the temperature to drop, to be below 25 degrees celsius or some such. But here, we have just had two days of 30+ degrees celsius - in AUTUMN!! I think of Autumn as the season where the leaves change colour, and the temperature drops.. not as the season when some days are warmer than in summer. The good thing is, the warmth (which I hate; cool weather is my thing) has given me an excuse why not to venture outside and thus take photos around the house of various bits and pieces.

"to dare every day to be irreverent and bold. to dare to preserve the randomness of mind which in children produces strange and wonderful new thoughts and forms. to continually scramble the familiar, bring the old into the new juxtaposition." -- gordon webber

the holidays begin...

I had my second English SAC on Thursday (the last day of term). I think it went ok, it was the right length at least. I wrote about the imposed limitations on the characters. I now have to wait until school goes back to find out how I did. I actually hate this waiting until marks come back. Depending on the subject and the SAC I might be nervous or worried, but I always want to know how I did - no matter how badly I expect to have gone. Oh well, I only have two weeks so that's not to bad.

But, that SAC marked the end of the term! Two weeks of (hopefully) fun. I always have good holidays, I can't remember one when I haven't had a good time even if I spent it at home pottering and doing homework. Just the break from school is nice. But these holidays I have had many offers of fun - new friends, new excitement... maybe even some alcohol - hehehe! Movie outtings, themed-video nights, photograph-taking trips. Fun to be had!!

I come from...

Here is the piece I wrote in English:

I come from two houses - one with a mother and one with a father.
One with a dormant artist and one with a suit-type.
One with a sister and one with a wicked witch of the west.
One with Christmas Day and one with Christmas Eve.
One with my own room and one with a shared bed.
One with green towels and one with beige towels.
One with a gold and black lounge room and one with an apricot couch.
One with two cats and one with no company.
One with late night laughs and one with late night tv.
One with full priced clothes and one with discount meals.
One with sleep-ins on Sundays and one with yoga on Saturdays.
One with a wardrobe and one with an overnight bag.
One with lazy Saturdays and one with day trip Sundays.
One with pate for lunch and one with a barbeque down at the park.
One with freedom to use the phone and one with constant permission.
One in the suburbs and one an hour away.
One for the week and one for once a month.
One with the real me and one with the good me.
One with a Hindu goddess on the wall and one with a painting of a rose.
One with a new car and one with fluffy wool seat covers.
One with a bathroom draw and one with a toiletry bag.
One with an electric blanket and one with slab heating.
One with netball and one with education related discussions.
One with friends and one with none.
One with warmth and one with falsities.
One with my mum and one with my dad.