christmas and dreams...

Yes, I am really moving! Mum is calling the accommodation place today (supposedly) and booking a place for me. I will be living across the road from Melb Uni and up the street from RMIT - sounds pretty damn good to me! I am getting a fridge, and my computer will be coming with me. I have even promised Sarah my room (because it is bigger than hers and it will have my double bed left in it). I will have to take down all my pictures on my walls and empty all my cupboards... Take the books from my bookshelf and the photos from walls... I have to pack my clothes, and take my doona. I have to move myself! It is an odd thought really. I will be leaving my home. Yes, I will be leaving home. My room will no longer be my room. I won't have my mum around - or my sister. And I seriously have way too much stuff to fit in the place I am moving to. It is a 10sqm room. My room at home is a fair bit bigger... It is almost exhilirating think that I will be gone from this room - it won't be mine any longer... I have been in this room for five years, and it has been nearly the same furniture arrangement for about two or three years. Actually, it is funny because I tend to move the first year of things. I moved into this house the first year of high school, and I will move into my own little room the first year of uni. Hmmm...

So as well as worrying (or being excited...) about Christmas and presents and such, I get to start sorting through my life before I move out! Out of home! And all but two Christmas presents have been bought, and all the the ones I do have are wrapped, so there isn't that much to worry about. So, soon enough, I will have to change my address I suppose, sort out an internet and phone connection in my room, organise plates and cutlery, buy my own laundry detergent-stuff and get my bum out of Geelong... Here I go!!

moving...

I was so excited about moving. But no one else seems to be anymore (except my sister, who wants my room). Actually, to be honest, most people are excited, just not the people I need to be excited - my mum and dad. Dad just constantly asks me question about why I want to move, and how much things will cost, and why move when I can commute, and if I have to live close to Uni, or if I could live a little distance away. I can't decide whether he is doing it to make sure I like my decision, or whether he is secretly telling me, with all the hounding questions, that he doesn't think it is a good idea. And mum just keeps changing her mind. Sunday she thought moving was the best idea. By Monday she wasn't as enthusiastic. Then Tuesday she thought it was a great idea. But today she doesn't seem to care. It is confusing me! I hadn't wanted to move to begin with - I am a chicken who doesn't even like driving an automatic car or taking the train on her own, let alone move to Melbourne on my own. Then when I heard what she thought I got excited, and really eager to get things happening. Now she has pulled back and I'm not sure if moving is the right thing to do. I think it would be awesome to live close to school, and it would be an adventure that I have been working myself up to the past few days, but now I don't know... I'm worried that I won't like it, but these concerns only seemed to be a problem when the people I wanted to support me sort of stopped. I suppose mum is having to come to terms with her 'first born' moving away - to the big city! But she just seems to be all over the place, and it isn't helping. This is a big step, or at least in my mind it is. And so many of my friends think it is great. And so do I, I'm just getting worried now because of my mum and dad. Is that irrational in some way? Not being able to stick to what you want because your parents are with you 100% all the time. Is is really childish? I can't decide.

And then this afternoon and went through all the certificates I got today (because today was Awards Day at my school and I got the top study scores in my school for two of my subjects, and a special citizenship award) and putting them in my big orange folder that holds all my high school stuff and realised that was really over. I would only put one more thing in that folder - my VCE Certificate. And it is complete, in some way. From the first certificates I got in year 7, to my graduating certificate and VCE Certificate. All of it will be there - the past six year of my life will be summarised, I suppose, in one orange folder. All of the experiences and the learning curve that is high school will be contained in it. It feels strange to think about it. High school was such a huge thing. I loved it. It was much more exciting and freeing than primary school, but now it is over. It was safe. I knew what was going on day to day. I knew who was around if I needed them. I had friends, both peers and teachers. The principal was great, my teachers were great, I had fun. And now it is over. Finished. Completed. Done. It feels strange. So many people cry at the end, but I can't. I'm not actually, or specifically, sad that it is over because by the end I was ready for something new, but I will still miss it. And new things always get my a little bit freaked out - particularly new things like this. I remember starting high school and crying each night for the first week simply because I was overwhelmed with things - I didn't not like it, the difference between primary and high school just threw me, put me 'off balance' I suppose. And maybe that is what my mum is worried about when I go to Uni. If I move away at the very beginning maybe she thinks I won't cope. Or maybe she thinks that a bad and worry-some start will change what I think about the rest of the year. But she moved away when she went to Uni. I don't quite get it...

But one gorgeous and happy and fun thing happened today! I got a gorgeous Christmas present from Megs. She gave everyone Mr Men or Little Miss books by Roger Hargreaves, and she got mine absolutely spot on! She gave my Mr Happy. It describes Mr Happy as "fat and round, and happy!" Fits me!! And the story is about Mr Happy who finds a door, and when he goes through the door (and "round and round and down and down and round and down and down and around" the stairs) he finds Mr Miserable (which is me sometimes). So Mr Happy takes Mr Miserable to Happyland, where Mr Happy lives, of course, and makes him happy! The last page of the story is gorgeous:

And that is really the end of the story except to say that if you ever feel as miserable as Mr Miserable used to you know exactly what to do, don't you?

Just turn your mouth up at the corners.

Go on!

Because that is how Mr Miserable becomes happy - by slowly turning the corners of his mouth up more and more before he smiles. "And then he chuckled, which turned into a giggle, which became a laugh. A big booming hearty huge giant large enormous laugh." And that is perfect for me! So often I feel miserable, like now, and reading that book makes me chuckle!! Wonderful!!!

results and property hunting...

Today VCE results came out. I am still shocked at how well I went. I got an ENTER of 93.1 (out of a (im)possible 100). My study scores were really cool too. They are each out of 50. I got 35 for International Studies, 42 for IPM and English, and 46 for Media. And I got a 31 for Maths, and 33 for Philosophy and a 38 for Psychology last year. It is all finally sinking in - my final results for high school are in - it is completely over. And on top of that, I am getting an offer for my dream course at RMIT and we have started talking about me moving out - to Melbourne where I can be closer to Uni. There has been talk of many options, from buying an apartment, to renting an apartment of getting a room in student accommodation. I'm not sure if I want to live on my own, so I'm thinking maybe the student accommodation or a two bedroom apartment with a friend would be nice... but we will just have to wait and see. I can remember the start of this year I didn't even want to move out of home after one year at Uni, now I am getting really excited about moving out at the start. I just hope everything goes well...

very exciting...

I am so very excited right not for two reasons!!

1. The guy where I am getting my camera repaired called me today to say the camera was ready to be picked up!!

2. I got a letter in the mail today from RMIT University. It is a Type A letter which means they will give me an offer for the course if I have achieved all the academic requirements and have them listed as my number one preference of courses!!! I am going to Uni to study exactly what I want!! I am so excited!! I don't get an official offer until VTAC sends them out early next year, I think.. But I am so excited anyway!! I will be a Scientific Photography student!! Yay!! Yay!!

Yay!!

busy bee...

I have been a busy, busy bee over the last little while - nearly a week since I last blogged!!

Ok, so a rundown of my life for that past (nearly) week:

Friday morning I went to work with mum and cut boards for my folio, and stuck my photos onto the board - and thus finished my photography folio. I am absolutely proud of it, even if other people aren't (more on that in a bit).

Friday night I was meant to work, but it has been so quiet lately that my shift was cancelled. So, instead I went to the Queenscliff Music Festival! It was rainy wnd windy (with an awesome thunder storm) but it was fairly fun. I had got media accreditation as a photographer (which basically means I get in for free) so I raced to James' and borrowed his digital camera (because mine is still in NSW). John took me the forty minutes to Queenscliff with him, because he was recording people for his radio program. I saw Sarah Blasko and Ash Grunwald, as well as some other less notable performances. However, I had started to get sick on Thrusday, so running around in the wet wasn't the best thing for me, and I left feeling like crap - blocked nose, sore throat, headache, you know... I'm glad I went but I felt pretty crappy the next day.

Saturday I did work, but was sent home early because it was so quiet. When I got home I went straight to bed because I felt dreaful, then my mum called up my (other) work and told my boss (who is actually my aunty, so it wasn't that bad) that I was too sick to work. I stayed in bed from about 2pm till 7-ish pm, when mum brought me home some chips for dinner, then we sat and watched Harry Potter before going to bed drugged with Cold and Flu tablets and lots of Panadol.

Sunday mum and I buzzed around the house getting ready for my interviews for Uni on Monday and my Graduation Monday night. She finished my graduation skirt and fixed the necklace I wore, while I finished off all my interview things.

Monday I was out of bed at 6am... Horrible... Got ready, and mum drove me to Melbourne for one entrance test, one information session and two interviews. The entrance test, for Applied Photography, was ok, some of the question about science I thought were silly, but there you go.. The information session, for Scientific Photography, just hit home how much I really wanted to do the course - it is awesome! Then we had lunch, before I went to the Applied Photography interview. I didn't like that interview, the interviewers acted as if they were superior, which just didn't seem fair to me... The Scientific Photography interview was heaps better!! The interviewers (four guys, three American, one Aussie) were really nice. They are science/tech nerds who were debating Mac over PC before me interview (I could hear them through the wall - not that I was intentionally eves-dropping). They seemed really genuine. They chatted between themselves as if they were friends, as well as chatting to me. They were genuinely impressed with my folio (unlike the guys at Applied Photography, who just flicked through and said nothing), and even said that the quality of my folio (the way it was compiled) was better than the way their students do it - which I was pretty chuffed about. The Science interview really lifted my spirits. They were concerned that I hadn't done VCE science, but it was such a positive experience I wasn't that worried about the negatives. We had to race home from Melbourne, because I had to get ready!!

Monday night I graduated!!! I dressed up in all my finery (a beautiful skirt, which I may even photograph to post, a simple brown top and awesome jewellery) and graduated from high school!! When we get our graduation certificates we get them in folders, and on the back of the folders (for some people) are stickers to denote if you got any extra awards - I had three stickers! I got an Academic Excellence award, for receiving high marks for all of my subjects, a Citizenship Award, for being an exceptional student in the school community and helping out, etc., and another special award which I can't remember (it is a special award, that I receive on Awards Day in front of parents and the rest of the school) - I think it was a Community Award, but I can't remember. We get eat, and chat, and dance! The band were great, we boogied and had heaps of fun!! I was in so many photos, so goodness knows how much it will cost me to get the ones that I want - but they are all memories!! It was such a great night - and I can't believe I am done. I am no longer part of the school. It is highly scary, because I don't know what is going to happen now. Until offers come out, I am completely free, nothing in particular planned for the future. It is incredibly daunting knowing that, but also somehow incredibly exciting! The opportunities that are coming up and that I can participate in are amazing - I just hope it all comes together!! But I think it just might...

That pretty much brings everything up to speed, because yesterday I sat around with my sister and watched videos of Gilmore Girls all day, and now it is today. Tomorrow I am going to see the new Harry Potter with Megs which should be good - it looks somewhat scarier than the other movies, and I am looking forward to it. Then I am working on the weekend (hopefully. If my hours are cut I won't have any money to buy Christmas presents) and getting some things up on eBay to sell. The summer is looking pretty damn good to me!!

a Thursday afternoon rant...

Well, it's not really a rant, but I thought it sounded light a cool title...

I got some news about my digital camera this morning. It is going to cost about half what it was to buy new, so the general consensus is that I will get a new camera - the new model. This is exciting, but I am pissed off with myself for causing this to happen. All I did was drop the damn thing - that's it. I suppose digital things are much more sensitive to the odd bump because of all the bits inside them.

Oh, did I comment about the fact that my film camera was playing up? Nope, I don't think I did. Well, it was playing up. The prints were having to be pulled out of completely useless negatives, so John and I went on a mission to figure out what the problem was. Turns out, it was overexposing the film by two stops. Not a good thing really. Now all my prints are turning out perfectly. And, the good thing about my completely-manual camera is that I can trick it! To make the "remembering to expose two stops less than what it wants" thing easier, I can just set my ISO reading two steps higher than the film I am using - perfect! And it works! I have been getting some pretty good black and white prints too, which is exciting. I have chosen about six for my folio. There will be six black and whites, six colour digitals, and one colour film (I think). The colour film probably isn't the best choice, so I might have to rethink that, and replace it with either another digital or another b&w - I'm not sure. It was so hard picking thirteen prints from about 30+. I spent about an hour slowly deciding that the prints I have excluded weren't required because they were a poorer quality duplicate-theme of something I already had, or they weren't as interesting as some of the other prints. I am sure when mum has a look at my choices tonight she will want to make some changes - so I have to make sure I am in a compromising mood. In fact, I really have to be careful because I keep getting grumpy at her - she is just so blunt. One minute we are looking at some of my pictures, then she comments (for example, and she did actually say this) that "this is a waste of space" and I feel crushed, then I get grumpy with her. Then I make a rude comment, making her pissed off, then we have problems. I did that last night, I made a really rude comment, but it is all good now - I apologised!

Yes, so I think I am a little bit stressed at the moment. I mean, I don't do that much each day, but it is because I can't. I don't have a car so I can't go out and take photos, but now I don't want anymore to choose from. Then I start fretting about Christmas because I haven't really done any Christmas shopping and it is only a month away. Then I worry about money, which leads me to worry about when I have to work and what I have to get done before work. Then, because I am working eight hours on Saturday, I start worrying that I might not be completely prepared for my entrance test, interview and information session that I have on Monday, or for my Validictory that I have on Monday night. Then I start feeling bad because I can't go anywhere and I spend my days doing not much, which gets me right back to the start... Argh...

Oh, and just before I sign off for another post, I have created a second blog for myself. It is located here and is called not so rejected. It is where all the photographs that I like, but aren't good enough for me to showcase on my website, reside. I started it today so there is only one image (which has appeared on this blog, but oh well) - but there are sure to be more! Enjoy.

the verdict...

So if yoy read this, you will know that I have been hoping to get into a photography course for University. I got some news about that yesterday (which I commented briefly on in the last post, but I thought I would elaborate). Two of the four courses were sending out details of interviews for the successful applicants, and I didn't get one. Well, not one this round, but I don't think I will get a chance for second round anyway. Now my complete focus is going to be Scientific Photography, and maybe the TAFE course. But the TAFE course was like an absolute back-up, so I think I will just hope that I get into Scientific Photography, or else I will (hopefully, anyway) go to the Uni nearby and do a plain Bachelor of Arts - maybe even try for an Education course for my second year and become a teacher. Lots of people I know think I will eventually become a teacher anyway - so why not bite the bullet and do it now. I will, of course, keep taking photos for fun - I was going to anyway. I love doing so...

But I am still very excited about finishing high school - just like I was yesterday. The funny thing is: now I don't have anything to do! I have to house to myself tonight, and there is absolutely nothing on TV, so I was thinking about what I could fill up my time with, and I couldn't think of anything! Well, I was contemplating tidying up my bookshelves, or going through my wardrobe (again), or doing a ruthless cleanout of all my years work and just my cupboard in general. Hmmm... it is incredibly strange not having anything to do! I have been giving lots of hours to work, though. But thinking about that, I will still have heaps of spare time! How strange! I think I will start selling stuff on eBay or something - have to fill up the time somehow... Suggestions, anyone?

Oh, and in response to that exciting comment from Megs - no news on my camera, it is still in NSW getting a quote about itself. Hopefully it will be ok. Thankful James has decided he will let me use his (new) camera for the music festival that is coming up at the end of November - all very exciting. Actually, I am incredibly jealous of James, he got the new version of my (injured) camera - and it has better megapixels than mine!! Hmmm... I think I shall enjoy borrowing it!

Oh, and I found out I am going to Port Fairy Folk Festival next year - highly exciting!! It is it's '30th Festival' and they have heaps of international and national/local performers coming which I am looking forward to. But I have to wait until Labour Day weekend next year (March) before I get to boogie on down at PFFF... Exciting!!

i'm done...

Yes - I have finished VCE, year 12, high school, and my first 13 years of schooling. And I am unbelievably excited!!!! It is taking a whole lot of composure to right this without multiple exclamation marks - so here are just a few: !!!!!!

I had my last exam today - International Studies. I am actually really pleased with it all. I got to do a little bitching about the Australian/US alliance and what it is doing to the country. The question was something like: "Do the costs of the Australian alliance with the US outweigh the benefits?" Or something like that. Is was pretty cool!

But on the down side, today I found out that I'm not getting an interview for two of the photography courses I applied for. I am a bit sad about it, but I had decided that one of the other courses is the one I would prefer to be doing - so fingers crossed.

That is pretty much all the stuff I have to write about at the moment. Oh, I might put a few more exclamation marks: !!!!!! There, now I'm good!

it is tuesday...

And I am about to do my second exam for this end of high school exam period - finally! I haven't had an exam since the 28th of October (the English exam) and I am going slowly insane being on my own all day. However, this past weekend did give me some fun and laughs! And some (pretend) tears.

On Saturday morning I took my camera to the camera shop. I was told it would take eight weeks to repair, and that was after the quote comes back. The camera has to go to the Fuji factory in New South Wales for repairs - and I miss it already! However, John has reminded me that now I can focus more attention on film photography (which I am not very good at, more info on that comment later). And Sar got her Christmas present early and I have control over it until mine is fixed - oh, it's a camera, the present, by the way. It is a little Digital Pentax with 6mp and three times optical zoom. And it even lets you change the shutter and aperture as you want - which isn't a bad deal for $300. But it isn't my baby - my little Fuji...

Then later on Saturday I had a photographic session with Jess and Josh. They wanted some portraits together and I wanted some practice to it really worked out quite well. I used three films and took the photos down at Buckley's Falls. Now, the thing about me not being very good with film cameras happened during this shoot. My film camera is completely manual, no shutter priority, no aperture, no automatic reading of the ISO needed for the film - and this is where I stuffed up. I shot all three films on an ISO of 125, even though two of the films were meant to be shot on an ISO rating of 400. So, basically, I completely overexposed two roles of film. On the two can (hopefully) be saved during processing, but the other film is basically a colour film that shoots black and white, so it is ruined. Hopefully I find some good stuff to use for my folio in the two pure B&W, otherwise I'm stuffed. I have to have my folio together by the 21st of November - not long now.

Then another good thing happened, Saturday night I went out for the first time! Jess L and I went to see Bomba play at the Nash. We were asked for ID at all, which was kind of a shame because we were actually legal and wanted to show it off - but oh well. I bought my first alcoholic drink, and danced until 1am at a pub for the first time. Bomba were absolutely awesome!!! Really!!

Then Sunday I had to work, which wasn't too bad. It is money! And I have another four shift already lined up. I was working at Baskin Robbins which was good cause I got free ice-cream! And the next four shifts will earn me a lovely sum of money!! I definitely need it for uni! And then today I was given my first shift for the Christmas/holiday/Summer season at Griffiths for December - more money! If this continues, and I don't spend any money over summer, I might actually save a fair bit - 'twood be nice!

Now I have to go study - my second/third-last exam is happening in one hour - just enough time to polish up on the five things I don't yet have sorted in my head...

broken...

My...camera is...........BROKEN!!

Yes, sad, sad news. My gorgeous black Fuji S5000 is broken... And I know exactly how it happened. At Muck Up Day I dropped it - my hands were full and it wasn't around me neck so I suppose it was inevitable, but I am still very sad. Very, very sad! I tried to use it the other night and it kept freezing up on me. Then it wouldn't turn off... So dreadful!

That is all I have to say except: I hate studying on my own!! I keep getting fidgety... No good.

afterwards...

The English exam is done. Over. Completed. Now on to the other three, but study can wait til Monday - it's the weekend! I am so unbelievably glad its the weekend. I had plans for this evening but they have been transfered and downsized to tomorrow (due to exam stress - evil, evil, evil). So tomorrow is a girls night - dinner and, well, then back to each persons own home to sleep I suppose. I really should get out more - I have been 18 for 11 days and haven't done any of the eighteen year old things - none of them! Well, I suppose in a round about way you could count final exams as one, because most (only most) people do them when they are 18. I have got (kinda) drunk though - that I hadn't done before my 18th... But there is the rest of my life to do these types of things! So I suppose I shouldn't worry too much about it all...

Actually, to be honest that is all I have been thinking about - being 18 and finishing school. And I have pretty much written about that for the past few entry's so I don't think there is much point writing about it now... I will have to wait until exams are over and my mind actually moves on - then I will have something to write about.

Well, til then...

post number 70...

It's my last day of year 12 - well, classes at least. I have Media and English, then the last formal assembly. It's all coming to an end, all finishing, all being completed. But Megan sent me an email last night with a lovely little quote that I plan on remembering for the day:

Don't cry because it is ending, smile because it happened.

Yes, I must remember that as Ms Fraser, principal, goes through the history of this year level. I must remember that when many other girls are crying (from joy or sadness, who knows?!) and I must remember that when I run down the hall with my fellow year twelves as we leave the hall as an official group for the last time. Gosh, I am getting emotional just thinking about it. Today will be for emotion, taking photos and getting people to sign my 'book', and tomorrow will be for fun - Celebration (previously Muck Up) Day. Costumes are complete, and are ready to be shown off to the world. I have several photos that I want taken of the group of us in our finery, so hopefully that will happen. As we are characters from the Wizard of Oz I was thinking about a photo of us linking arms and skipping up the driveway, or just posing as out characters. I'm the witch, so I get to be evil for the day.

(At this point I would like to note that I realise I have talked about this event in all my posts for the last little while, but it is a milestone in my life that everything is focused on currently. Soon it will be over and I will blog about all sorts of other teenage trivia, but 'til then - suffer!!)

Tonight my fellow Oz-zies are coming to my house for a 'sleepover'. We are getting ready together in the morning, so we thought we would make a night of it. We are going to watch Wizard of Oz on DVD, and drink Midori - sounds like a plan! Ah - we are going to be so excited!!!

Yippee!!!

nearly the end...

It is nearly here - the end of high school. I have always, I mean always, been scared of finishing high school - that is, until it actually happens. I am now really excited. Sad, but excited! Last year when lots of my friends were graduating a felt so scared that in only a year it would all be happening to me, but now that it is here it doesn't seem so scary. Yeah, I lose the everyday-ness of high school. You know what is going to happen, when it is going to happen. You are a kid who has their parents or their teachers constantly watching out for you. But next year I will hopefully be going to uni in Melbourne, and have to commute everyday to class. I will have to worry about driving, and maybe even moving out of home (at some point at least). Scary - but exhilirating. I know so many people who love being out of high school, and I am pretty sure I will too. School is slowly becoming too confining, too rigid and uninspirational. Teachers are always there telling you exactly what to do, and what not to do. I was talking to Megs the other day about things coming to an end and I noticed that when they come around they actually seem to be right. School is ending just as I am starting to get pissed off with it. I feel ready to move on. Ready to take on the rest of everything. I think I am probably being a bit of a drama queen about this finishing high school thing, but as an 18 year old who has lived a pretty safe life this does seem to be a huge thing. My life has been (in retrospect of the last eighteen years, not very long I know) pretty nice, pretty easy and incredibly generous. Basically the only bad things I have had to deal with myself have been my Grandma dying and my parents getting a divorce - that's it. So the idea of leaving high school is a pretty big deal - even if that is just my take on it...

In Muck Up/Celebration Day news: mum just finished the first costume - Dorothy. It is awesome!! And so cute. Mum keeps getting pissed off because I keep commenting on how good everything is and how good it is all going to look. But I am in awe! She made the whole Dorothy costume without a pattern - only the picture in her head! See, awesome! I was, however, allowed to give her praise once the costume was complete. Just four more to go, and she hopes to get them done by tomorrow evening. Today's took about 2.5 hours, so she might just achieve it! And I got my witch wig the other day. Only $7 - nice and tacky!! Can't wait for Thursday!

the day after

The morning after the party is meant to be all groggy - but it's not. I feel fine. Tired, but fine!

I had such an awesome party last night - did my first Vodka shot, got the most drunk I have ever been (but it obviously wasn't very drunk in the scheme of things because I can remember everything (including who gave me which present!) and don't feel that bad this morning). And I have some funny photos! I got some excellent pressies, too! My fav's (or most interesting/exciting) were:

• Necklace, bracelet, and bag from Malaysia, from James
• Two bottle of Vodka and a bottle of Midori, each from a different person (Hannah, Jasmine, Meaghan and Megan)
• An amazing abstract painting and a beautiful plate from Abby and Kate
• The sweetest smelling soaps from Jo, and
• earrings that I really wanted from Jess

All in all it was an awesome evening!! Good music, good friends and lots of laughs!

But now I have homework to do - argh... I really just want to revel in my lovely party memories but I have an essay to do for tomorrow and one for Wednesday.. Yuk!

birthday wishes for myself

Today I am eighteen - yes, 18!! I am so incredibly excited - I love birthdays! I have gots heaps of presents so far from my family, including a DVD burner, subscriptions to my favourite magazines, some lenses for my cameras, clothes, a new alarm clock with CD player, wool, a badge that says "Iraq is Arabic for Vietnam", some chocolate, three pairs of earrings, Outfoxed on DVD, a book called Jennifer Government, a belt, and a 2006 diary (which is a really pretty green!). I told you I got heaps of stuff!

This morning when Sar and I were in the car on the way to school I told her I can now buy her alcohol and she responded with: "Well, lets go to the bottle shop on the way to school!" I was highly amused and told her so, to which she said: "Just because you go to the bottle shop doesn't mean you are going to drink alcohol" - She is a funny one!

(I have just noticed that I am using exclamation marks a lot more often than I normally do - does this demonstrate my enthusiasm about birthdays?)

Hmmm, 18... I can pretty much do everything now - legally drink, legally buy alcohol, legally gamble, legally buy cigarettes.. But 18 also signals the end of high school - in eight days.. just 8... That freaks me out just a little, or maybe a lot. University next year - into the real world. How very scary. The one thing I keep reminding myself, which may seem completely stupid and obvious to everyone else but it helps to remind myself, is that there are lots and lots and lots and lots of people who have grown old and are loving it - yes, I told you it was stupid. I just tell myself that if they can do, I can! And it seems to work. Now that I write it is seems really stupid, but it's the truth - it really does help!

Tonight I don't think I will do anything much, maybe just go home and think about the fact that I could be at the pub being an "adult". But tomorrow night is my party. Just friends and family coming over to my place to have a drink and listen to music and generally have fun! Lots of celebrating shall be enjoyed that night! I think about 28 people are coming, approximately. Should be heaps of fun!

I was just picked on by my old maths teacher for "playing on the computer" - silly man! I'm eighteen, today is for celebrating and NOT doing homework!! Except that I have IPM (and my teacher's birthday is today also) and English - so I think I will actually have to do some homework in those classes, not that I particularly want to..

Ooh, Moondance (the Van Morrison version) just came on my iPod - I love this song! Actually I love this whole CD - the Moondance CD. I had Glad Tidings in my head all Wednesday and Thursday - that is also a great song by Van Morrison! Hmm...

I think I will go off surfing the web - just generally doing not much.. Sounds good!

remember me?

It has been forever since I posted - and I have no real excuse for it being so. Sure I've been busy, but I really should have found a few minutes to write an entry.. Well, here is my catch-up entry, and I think it will end up being quite lengthy.

Last time I blogged was about a month ago, so I have been on school holidays, and finished my last high school SAC - ever! The holidays were lovely. The first weekend was my step-dad's 50th birthday and party where we opened a lovely 20 year old bottle of Hermitage Grange - I'm not a wine lover, but this was really tasty!

Monday-Thursday of the first week I went to Apollo Bay for a little holiday with Megs. It was intended to be a 'study holiday', but I think we ended up watching more DVDs than studying! We watched 11 of the thirteen episode of 'Lano and Woodley'. They are hilariously funny!! They are an aussie comedy duo that did stand-up comedy for a while, then made a tv show, and I don't know where they are now.. We also walked on the beach two of the days which was great. It was quite chilly, but it was nice to walk in the cold water and along the sand - very refreshing after studying for the morning.

After I got back on Thursday I started working on my folio which I took to the short course I did at RMIT for the second week of the holidays - Photography Folio Preparation Course. It was excellent! I learnt heaps about the photography industry, my camera and darkroom work. The camera thing I learnt was that my camera is borken. Well, more specifically it is my 50mm lens. The aperture is stuck on f1.8 and will not stop down! It meant that pretty much all my photos are over exposed.. I also got to use the RMIT TAFE darkrooms which are a hell of a lot better than my high school's version! At school we don't use any type of filters in the cameras or on the enlarger - but I learnt about contrast filters at RMIT. And I got to play with some film I hadn't ever used - I used transperency film, an Ilford film that has an ISO of 125, and I got a chromogenic film that is made by Kodak. I haven't used the Kodak film yet, I'm waiting for a good situation where I can create some good black and white photos. That was another I learnt at RMIT - how lacking in black and white experience I really am. I have to get lots more done, and add lots of black and whites to my folio.

The last weekend was spent at Jess's house chatting, shopping and discovering a lovely new way to drink vodka - with orange juice! We were up until about 1 or 2am both Friday night and Saturday chatting and watching DVDs. And I finally saw The Triplets of Belleville which was awesome! I love the song that goes with it! Hannah, Jess and I were completely riveted to the screen while we were watching it - we were competely drawn into the animation and the soundtrack, and the sweet little story! It was awesome!

Then Sunday I went out for lunch with my Dad and my sister because it is Sarah and my birthday's this week. Sar was 16 on Tuesday and I will be 18 tomorrow - I am highly excited!!

That marked the end of the holidays - which I didn't mind because I got an awesome birthday present!! When school went back I had to get used to get up at 6:30am again. It hasn't been too bad though. School is still the same (but will only be so for another two weeks). I had a SAC on Wednesday, but other than that school has just been revision.

On Tuesday night, however, we celebrated Sar's birthday in style! A group of eight of us (mum, John, Sar, me, and four friends of John's) went to a taping of the SBS television show RockWiz. It was really cool. I got to watch a television show being taped, and edited right there and then! I was excited. And Sar was excited because as a birthday treat, the guys at RockWiz allowed Sar to rock up early and hang out with the sound technician (which is her chosen career path) and see what he sets up and does for the show. I think he only controlled the front of house stuff, for the audience, but Sarah still enjoyed it!

And that was the last few weeks, in a nutshell! As well as all that fun stuff I have been sorting out all my uni applications and choosing photos for my folio which has been fairly exciting, not to mention nerve-racking! I have only had to send in two of the three applications so far, but I sent both in just in time to make it - I really am pushing it.. I should be more organised, but oh well - they are in! Hopefully I get interviews for them all - fingers crossed...

we're off to see the wizard...

"The wonderful Wizard of Oz". It has been in my head since my friends and I decided we were dressing up as characters from the movie for "Muck Up Day". "Muck Up Day", or as the principal wants as to call it: "Celebration Day", is the final school day for year 12s. We dress up, watch a slideshow of lots of photos, do a concert for the rest of the school and go home early; it is our celebration together for finishing high school. Megan and Meaghan came up with the idea while looking in a costume shop. I am the Wicked Witch, Megan is Scarecrow, Meaghan is Dorothy, Jess is the Lion, and Hannah is Tinman. My mum is making all our costumes, and we are terribly excited, even though the actual day doesn't happen until the 20th of October. Still, it is our final day of high school and the high school/primary school process which has lasted for 13 years. That bit of our life will basically be over as of 20 October 2005. Granted, we have exams after that, but no more high school classes - ever. It is terribly scary!! Each time I calculate how many days of school are left (yes, I know I have written something along these lines in a previous blog), which currently stands at 12 days, I get completely petrified. COmpletely! After this is finished I have to be an adult. I will be 18 and have to face the real world, not the fun little world of high school, where every day is pretty much the same, and pretty much full from 9am to 3:15pm. My last exam is on the 16th of November, and I graduate on the 28th (I think) of November. Then it will be done. Then it will be over. Yes, I am a drama queen when it comes to this, but after 13 years, I have become slightly attached to schooling the way I know it. I have only ever attended two schools: my primary school and my secondary school. From prep to six at primary school, and seven to 12 at high school. That is all.. I should probably come to terms with it - hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousand, millions of people have finished high school and gone onto other things - uni, work, etc... I want to go to uni. I really really want to get into one of the photography courses I have applied for. I doubt I will get into the Fine Art course, but the other three I might have a chance in. And if they fail, I think I am happy staying at home and going to the Uni which is 20mins by bus from my house - that is the Uni that I know, I have been there a number of times with school and my step-dad. I know that Uni, but I don't know the Uni in Melbourne, another reason I am freking out... But, I think I will be alright. In fact, I am determined to be alright, even successful, at Uni - whichever one I go to!

Ooh, my Media teacher today asked me, and two other students in my class, if we would like to be nominated, and enter, Top Arts, which is for the best students in Arts subjects from Victoria. I am excited about that. It pretty much means that we got an A or an A+ for our Media assignment - that was my magazine. I was proud of it, and now I am even more proud of it - that is, if it got me an A!! Very cool.

I should really get to doing some homework. I have my last English SAC on Friday, so I should study...

chocolate and pre-selection kits...

I went to see the new Willy Wonka movie, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, last night. I really enjoyed it. However, through the whole movie I was expecting the characters to do things that were in the 1971 Gene Wilder version - but they didn't do them. Having the old movie in my head kinda spoiled last night because I was constantly waiting for things that weren't going to happen. But I did really enjoy it. It was a fundraiser for my year's (year 12) graduation at the end of the year. We got $3 per ticket, and I reckon we had about 200 people there - so I don't think it was a bad effort. Johnny Depp is great as Willy Wonka - he is sufficiently strange. And they added this great 'message' about how family is really important. Though I'm not sure I liked that bit - a bit to messy for this chcolate genius to be completely out of whack because his dentist father wouldn't allow him to eat chocolate when he was a boy. Oh well, I still enjoyed it!

I have been doing all these (four) pre-selection kits for the courses I applied for, for next year. Uni is seeming to be closer and closer, and the fact that I turn 18 in 31 days has just made the idea that I am growing up and moving on all the more prevalent. It is kind of scary, and has almost thrown me, that I will be 18 very shortly, and then I will leave high school (where I have been for the past six years), and I will move into the big wide world, and become independant. While I wouldn't start Uni until February of next year, just the graduating from high school is pushing me in the direction of 'adult-ness'. It's bloody scary! Then in a year and 31 days I will be 19 - and that sounds so different to 18, even though it is only a year difference. Don't you think 19 sounds really different to 18? I suppose everyone waits for 18, so school is often full of 18, or nearly 18, year olds. But after high school, you turn 19, then 20, and on and on and on... It just keeps going - right into the future. Ok, so now I sound insane, that I haven't really come to terms with the fact the I will get older and live my life, but until this year I hadn't really thought about it. I had always just seen finishing high school as a big milestone, and then Uni as something that is really far off - but now it is next year... Yes, I am freaking out... I think I need to go and ponder this idea of life, and develop some photos - which is what I am off to do now - yay!

Also, just a little add on, I wish Megan lots of fun teeth stuff - she is getting her brases off this morning!

interesting things...

I wish I had interesting things to write about, or an interesting way to right about things. So many blogs I read are written with such style - interesting language, thought-provoking comments, inspirational meanderings. My blog is just a jumble of a 17 year olds life.. oh so uninteresting..

I am slightly down today - is it obvious? And if I don't stop blogging now, I feel I will get even more down - toodles...

as promised...

Here are two examples of the pictures I took on Saturday night at Sweethearts Party '05:

Jessie singing

The bass player for Li'l Fi

I like them...