christmas and dreams...

Yes, I am really moving! Mum is calling the accommodation place today (supposedly) and booking a place for me. I will be living across the road from Melb Uni and up the street from RMIT - sounds pretty damn good to me! I am getting a fridge, and my computer will be coming with me. I have even promised Sarah my room (because it is bigger than hers and it will have my double bed left in it). I will have to take down all my pictures on my walls and empty all my cupboards... Take the books from my bookshelf and the photos from walls... I have to pack my clothes, and take my doona. I have to move myself! It is an odd thought really. I will be leaving my home. Yes, I will be leaving home. My room will no longer be my room. I won't have my mum around - or my sister. And I seriously have way too much stuff to fit in the place I am moving to. It is a 10sqm room. My room at home is a fair bit bigger... It is almost exhilirating think that I will be gone from this room - it won't be mine any longer... I have been in this room for five years, and it has been nearly the same furniture arrangement for about two or three years. Actually, it is funny because I tend to move the first year of things. I moved into this house the first year of high school, and I will move into my own little room the first year of uni. Hmmm...

So as well as worrying (or being excited...) about Christmas and presents and such, I get to start sorting through my life before I move out! Out of home! And all but two Christmas presents have been bought, and all the the ones I do have are wrapped, so there isn't that much to worry about. So, soon enough, I will have to change my address I suppose, sort out an internet and phone connection in my room, organise plates and cutlery, buy my own laundry detergent-stuff and get my bum out of Geelong... Here I go!!

moving...

I was so excited about moving. But no one else seems to be anymore (except my sister, who wants my room). Actually, to be honest, most people are excited, just not the people I need to be excited - my mum and dad. Dad just constantly asks me question about why I want to move, and how much things will cost, and why move when I can commute, and if I have to live close to Uni, or if I could live a little distance away. I can't decide whether he is doing it to make sure I like my decision, or whether he is secretly telling me, with all the hounding questions, that he doesn't think it is a good idea. And mum just keeps changing her mind. Sunday she thought moving was the best idea. By Monday she wasn't as enthusiastic. Then Tuesday she thought it was a great idea. But today she doesn't seem to care. It is confusing me! I hadn't wanted to move to begin with - I am a chicken who doesn't even like driving an automatic car or taking the train on her own, let alone move to Melbourne on my own. Then when I heard what she thought I got excited, and really eager to get things happening. Now she has pulled back and I'm not sure if moving is the right thing to do. I think it would be awesome to live close to school, and it would be an adventure that I have been working myself up to the past few days, but now I don't know... I'm worried that I won't like it, but these concerns only seemed to be a problem when the people I wanted to support me sort of stopped. I suppose mum is having to come to terms with her 'first born' moving away - to the big city! But she just seems to be all over the place, and it isn't helping. This is a big step, or at least in my mind it is. And so many of my friends think it is great. And so do I, I'm just getting worried now because of my mum and dad. Is that irrational in some way? Not being able to stick to what you want because your parents are with you 100% all the time. Is is really childish? I can't decide.

And then this afternoon and went through all the certificates I got today (because today was Awards Day at my school and I got the top study scores in my school for two of my subjects, and a special citizenship award) and putting them in my big orange folder that holds all my high school stuff and realised that was really over. I would only put one more thing in that folder - my VCE Certificate. And it is complete, in some way. From the first certificates I got in year 7, to my graduating certificate and VCE Certificate. All of it will be there - the past six year of my life will be summarised, I suppose, in one orange folder. All of the experiences and the learning curve that is high school will be contained in it. It feels strange to think about it. High school was such a huge thing. I loved it. It was much more exciting and freeing than primary school, but now it is over. It was safe. I knew what was going on day to day. I knew who was around if I needed them. I had friends, both peers and teachers. The principal was great, my teachers were great, I had fun. And now it is over. Finished. Completed. Done. It feels strange. So many people cry at the end, but I can't. I'm not actually, or specifically, sad that it is over because by the end I was ready for something new, but I will still miss it. And new things always get my a little bit freaked out - particularly new things like this. I remember starting high school and crying each night for the first week simply because I was overwhelmed with things - I didn't not like it, the difference between primary and high school just threw me, put me 'off balance' I suppose. And maybe that is what my mum is worried about when I go to Uni. If I move away at the very beginning maybe she thinks I won't cope. Or maybe she thinks that a bad and worry-some start will change what I think about the rest of the year. But she moved away when she went to Uni. I don't quite get it...

But one gorgeous and happy and fun thing happened today! I got a gorgeous Christmas present from Megs. She gave everyone Mr Men or Little Miss books by Roger Hargreaves, and she got mine absolutely spot on! She gave my Mr Happy. It describes Mr Happy as "fat and round, and happy!" Fits me!! And the story is about Mr Happy who finds a door, and when he goes through the door (and "round and round and down and down and round and down and down and around" the stairs) he finds Mr Miserable (which is me sometimes). So Mr Happy takes Mr Miserable to Happyland, where Mr Happy lives, of course, and makes him happy! The last page of the story is gorgeous:

And that is really the end of the story except to say that if you ever feel as miserable as Mr Miserable used to you know exactly what to do, don't you?

Just turn your mouth up at the corners.

Go on!

Because that is how Mr Miserable becomes happy - by slowly turning the corners of his mouth up more and more before he smiles. "And then he chuckled, which turned into a giggle, which became a laugh. A big booming hearty huge giant large enormous laugh." And that is perfect for me! So often I feel miserable, like now, and reading that book makes me chuckle!! Wonderful!!!

results and property hunting...

Today VCE results came out. I am still shocked at how well I went. I got an ENTER of 93.1 (out of a (im)possible 100). My study scores were really cool too. They are each out of 50. I got 35 for International Studies, 42 for IPM and English, and 46 for Media. And I got a 31 for Maths, and 33 for Philosophy and a 38 for Psychology last year. It is all finally sinking in - my final results for high school are in - it is completely over. And on top of that, I am getting an offer for my dream course at RMIT and we have started talking about me moving out - to Melbourne where I can be closer to Uni. There has been talk of many options, from buying an apartment, to renting an apartment of getting a room in student accommodation. I'm not sure if I want to live on my own, so I'm thinking maybe the student accommodation or a two bedroom apartment with a friend would be nice... but we will just have to wait and see. I can remember the start of this year I didn't even want to move out of home after one year at Uni, now I am getting really excited about moving out at the start. I just hope everything goes well...

very exciting...

I am so very excited right not for two reasons!!

1. The guy where I am getting my camera repaired called me today to say the camera was ready to be picked up!!

2. I got a letter in the mail today from RMIT University. It is a Type A letter which means they will give me an offer for the course if I have achieved all the academic requirements and have them listed as my number one preference of courses!!! I am going to Uni to study exactly what I want!! I am so excited!! I don't get an official offer until VTAC sends them out early next year, I think.. But I am so excited anyway!! I will be a Scientific Photography student!! Yay!! Yay!!

Yay!!